The New & Improved (Worker) You

It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: When (and if) I get another job, what kind of worker will I be?

It’s a question I’m sure a lot of unemployed people think about (mostly because we don’t have much else to do with no job). That’s because after a layoff, an extended jobless period and serial rejections, your perceptions of the workplace and your place in it are unalterably changed.

I’ve read articles quoting unemployed persons saying that when they get another job, they will be perfect employees, working overtime and doing everything that is asked of them.

Whenever I read a statement like that, I think to myself, “Well, you were a perfectly good worker before the layoff and where did it get you?”

If this recession has proved anything, it’s that no one is safe from a layoff. It doesn’t matter how long you have worked for a company or the quality of your work. If revenues are down and the powers-that-be decide you have to go to save the company or themselves and their handpicked puppets, you are gone.

At my prior job, I did no less than two jobs simultaneously within the company. I was the second most senior person in my department. I even came into work everyday while I was undergoing treatment for a serious illness. Many years I never used all my vacation days.

I always did what was asked of me, took work home on the weekends and helped out colleagues when called upon to do so. I got good performance reviews. I had never worked as hard I did in the two months before I was laid off.

None of that mattered. I was laid off anyway.

Yet, looking back, I was stupid to think my hard work and seniority would protect me from a layoff.

Despite articles that advise you how to avoid a layoff (http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/111150/tips-for-staying-off-the-chopping-block?mod=career-worklife_balance), I’m not so sure there is anything you can do to prevent an involuntarily termination. If your company is downsizing or the work you once did for the firm is no longer considered vital, you’re a goner.

As my former boss told us in a meeting before I was laid off, there is no such thing as job security. Wow! What a stirring motivational speech! Surely that qualifies in the annals of great management practices. Why none of us didn’t run out of the door then still amazes me. Of course, by terminating any staff member that could possibly threaten his position, he certainly has managed to make his job secure.

But he is right. Job security in any profession is a thing of the past. The sooner we realize that the less heartache we’ll deal with later when we are told to pack up our desks and leave.

There is no way I’m going to be the same employee I was before my layoff. I’ve learned some hard lessons. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In a new job, you can use those lessons to become a better worker and colleague, or at least one with a healthier perspective on the workplace.

In the interest of full disclosure, yes, I‘ve made mistakes in my work. No one is perfect and I certainly am not. But I always owned up to my mistakes and try to make amends.

One of my biggest problems is my tendency to put my foot in my mouth. I sometimes think I was born with shoe leather between my teeth. Again, I always apologized and tried to keep my mouth shut. And if I ever overstepped my bounds, there was always someone there to put me in my place—and rightfully so.

Overall, I always strived to be a good, respectful co-worker. And I can say with assurance that I took more lumps from nasty workers and bosses than I ever gave out. If anything, I should have complained more about the abuse I received.

All this has helped me come up with The New Rules for the New & Improved (Worker) You:

Two Years and Out. Looking back in hindsight, I wonder why I stayed for 16-plus years at my prior job. What an idiot I was! I deluded myself into thinking I mattered to the company, when in reality, my bosses treated me horribly at times. I gave so much to the company and in the end I was just a deck chair on the Titanic to them, something that could easily be thrown overboard when they wanted to save themselves as revenues fell.

Before I took that job, the longest I stayed in any job was six years. I worked at one job for only two years and another one, four. Never again will I work for one company for an extended period of time. It’s certainly not to anyone’s benefit. Seniority doesn’t matter anymore, so why stay longer than two years at any one workplace?

Therefore, I would definitely think about leaving after two years. It could be sooner, or later. But two years is a long enough time to get a lay of the workplace and learn the skills you can transfer to another company. Two years is also long enough that hiring executives at other companies won’t see you as someone who is simply hopping from job to job after brief periods.

Now, any HR executive reading this might think, Why should we expend the time and effort training someone who will leave after two years? Well, my answer to that is: Can you guarantee me that the company will keep me employed for one year, let alone two years? Loyalty is a two-way street. If companies want the freedom to lay off workers at will, then we employees have the freedom to say, Bye-Bye at any time we choose.

Be Friendly, but Don’t Make Friends. Yet another trap I fell in to repeatedly. No matter how nasty co-workers were to me or how many times they stabbed me in the back, I persisted in thinking they were my friends. They were not and I was wrong to think otherwise. They were simply looking out for themselves and their own careers. Nothing wrong with that.

That doesn’t mean I will be nasty to co-workers. Just the opposite: I will be kind, cordial, respectful and helpful. I am not a backstabber and never will be. I just won’t be their friend. I won’t bring in bagels or candy. If you want to get a coffee and doughnut, go to the nearest Dunkin Donuts. It ain’t coming from me.

No longer will I generously give out birthday and holiday gifts to co-workers. If a loved one of a colleague passes away, I will be sure to give a sympathy card. But that’s about as much as they will get out of me.

It’s always tricky to make friends at work. Professional jealousy can make it difficult. If that person wants a promotion, and you are in the way, he or she will trample over you in a nanosecond. A few of my co-workers knew I as well as others in the office were going to be laid off. But did they try to save my job? Nah. They saved another colleague, but threw me under the bus. Gee, thanks guys.

One thing that you should never do is complain about a co-worker to a superior. Most bosses don’t want to be bothered. Even if you feel justified in your complaints, you will look petty by complaining to your boss. You will be seen as a troublemaker, a whiner, and the situation may not change. If someone is truly a lousy worker, he or she will eventually be found out without any help from you. In my experience, I've found whenever I complained about a co-worker, it backfired on me and I got screwed. And if you don't want colleagues talking about you behind your back, then don't do it to them.

Now, if someone is truly being abusive, then you can always go to the HR person for mediation. But always be professional and never make personal attacks. Yet be aware that your complaints may not alter the circumstances.

And how often after you have left a job do you keep in touch with former co-workers? Not very often, particularly when you live far away from each other.

Better to make friends out of the workplace. There is no professional jealousy between you. Plus, someone outside the office provides an objective sounding board for whatever problems you may be having in the office. And there is no danger of them tattling your comments to bosses or co-workers. Sweet.

In general, the best tactic is to be cordial and respectful to your colleagues, mind your own business and never discuss politics and religion in the workplace. If you do that, you’ll do fine.

Take Your Vacation Days! I was one of those employees who always had at least a week of unused vacation days by the end of the year. Since my company didn’t allow us to carry over more than three days and we would not be paid for unused time, I lost those days. On one hand, the company wanted us to use our vacation time, but trying to schedule days off was like planning a military mission. If the production schedule didn’t permit it or if someone else, like my boss, wanted to take that day off, I couldn’t take it. I was screwed. All I did was give the company more extra work for no reward. I'll never make that mistake again. Ever.

Never Make Your Office Your Second Home—Unless You’re Prepared to Get Evicted at a Moment’s Notice. How many of us junk up our desks with useless bric-a-brac? Although my brown thumb prevented me from bringing in plants, I was as guilty of desk clutter as the next person. Since I knew my layoff was eminent, I started taking my stuff home three days before I got the boot. Three days to clean out my desk! Really, I had too much junk on my desk, and I think by having all that stuff gave me a false sense of permanence. I’ll never make that mistake again. All I need is my coffee cup, a calendar and maybe one personal photo. (Okay, maybe a picture of Mark Sanchez.) That’s it. Next time I get laid off I’ll be able to take all my stuff home in one bag.

Always Do Your Best. This sounds simplistic, but it’s worth saying again. Do the best job you can, never complain, be respectful of bosses and colleagues. You certainly don’t want to get terminated for poor performance or silly tiffs with co-workers. But just be aware that good work alone will never save you from a layoff. Never. Yet at the very least, if you do a good job, you can hold your head high even as your superiors treat you shabbily.

Remember, work is work, it’s not your life.