Reentry Blues

One week on my new job and how do I feel? Anxious, stressed out and overwhelmed. But I suppose that is normal considering how long I was out of work.

It took three days for my new company to deliver my computer to my cubicle, which is small, dingy and stuffy. I tried to keep busy, but without a computer it was difficult.

I guess I’m also feeling a bad case of buyer’s remorse. Is this the right job for me? Will I succeed? Again, that is probably normal.

I’m also getting used to a whole new set of office dynamics. The people in my office are friendly, but no overly so. No one offered to help me set up my computer. I hear very little chitchat among the staffers. But that may not be a bad thing. I’ve gotten myself into trouble being too nosy with co-workers and putting my foot in my mouth. Better to just do my job and keep my mouth shut.

I also fear having to learn a whole new set of computer programs. This Mac Girl is learning the ABCs of PCs and it won’t come easy for me. That’s on top of getting to know the actual job itself. No wonder I’m stressed.

My rule of thumb has always been that it takes at least three months to get comfortable in a new job, to the point where you feel confident you know what you are doing. Not that you know everything, it’s just that you don’t feel acute anxiety every time to step into the office.

I just have to remember that I was out of work for over a year and it will take time and patience to get readjusted to the working life.

Some other observations:

• While I do have a decent working wardrobe, it’s a pain to put on those clothes every morning.

• I used to commute on the bus to my previous job. Now, I drive, which means I must pay attention on the road. Good thing the drive is fairly short, about 30 minutes.

• Parking at my new office is nonexistent. I have to pay to park at nearby parking lot. Very expensive.

But it will be nice when I get that first paycheck.

Has anyone else felt the same way after getting a job after a long stretch of unemployment?

Back to Cubicleland

Yep, after 16 months without job, I start a new full-time job tomorrow.

I’m still in a state of shock that I finally got a job. Of course, I’m nervous. It’s been a long time since I’ve sat in an office cubicle from 9 to 5, judged by co-workers and bosses on a daily basis.

But I’m also relieved. It will be nice to have a steady paycheck and get off unemployment. The job will utilize my editing and writing skills, but I’ll be learning a new industry, which should keep me interested.

Yes, I did take a cut in pay from my previous job, but I never expected to get the same salary after being unemployed for so long. I had to be realistic. At least I have healthcare coverage through my employer.

I have to admit, I’m anxious. After a bruising layoff and no job for over a year, it will take some time to get readjusted to the world of the working. And as a technophobe, I’m not looking forward to learning new computer systems. Technology has never come easy for me.

I also wonder if I can do a good job. Will I fail? Even worse, will I get laid off once again? Well, I’ve been down that latter road before, so I know what to expect.

There were times when I went on interviews and I looked around at offices filled with cubicles that I sometimes thought, “Do I really want to go back to this? Do I want to get sucked into a vortex of office gossip and backbiting colleagues? I don’t want to be that petty and unpleasant person ever again.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to the job, which usually entailed writing and editing. It was the stifling atmosphere of being in a cubicle all day long and dealing with the different office personalities. I was also afraid I would behave in ways that would not do myself proud as I admittedly did in the past.

Yet recognizing that will go a long way toward helping me overcome those problems and hopefully become a better worker and colleague. I also have come to understand not to define myself by my job and try to get more of a life outside the office walls.

Freelancing was a tempting option. But I doubted, even with more freelance gigs, I could pay my rent plus the $500 a month it would surely cost me for health coverage. And to be honest, the isolation of doing freelance work from home was getting to me. Humans are social creatures and we need to be out and about among other people.

The job market has definitely picked up. In the same week I got the job, I received several requests to come in for job interviews and offers to do freelance work. Nevertheless, it would be risky to refuse this job and possibly not get another one in six months when my unemployment and COBRA benefits stop.

And as I have said before, never again will I stay in a job for as long as I did my prior job. I don’t see myself staying in any position for more than two years. Never say never, but I don’t think working with one employer for an extended period of time is wise. Companies have no qualms about cutting thousands of workers in one fell swoop. So why not be on the lookout for better opportunities and take proactive steps to further and protect your own career? Never again will I believe my bosses have my best interests at heart. That was a painful lesson I needed to learn.

While I’m glad to have a job, the experience of being unemployed for so long will stay with me for quite some time. There are still millions of people out of work and our economy is still not out of the woods, despite what some economists pontificate. We need stability in our economy, not boom and bust cycles that leave thousands unemployed for months and months.

And let me say a word about unemployment benefits. Many politicians and others disdain these benefits. But I say these weekly payments served their stated and useful purpose of helping many people without a job stay afloat financially so they could feed their families and keep a roof over their heads while they searched for another job. Yet even with those benefits, many unemployed workers went into bankruptcy or lost their homes through foreclosure.

It’s great to have a job, but remember, I’m making less. Similar to many others, my spending power will be curtailed. That will reverberate in the economy (and at Macys).

I’ve decided to keep writing this blog. My love of writing (and okay, self absorption) is great enough to keep me at it. I will chronicle my reentry into Cubicleland after an extended period of unemployment; the ups and downs; and what advice I can give to others in the same situation. The psychological impact of my layoff will linger for a while, and those observations may be a help to others still looking for employment.

So, back to work I go. Here’s hoping many others soon follow.