Bitterness is My Brand, Part 2

Maybe it’s because of the oncoming “Frankenstorm” in the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast, maybe it’s because of the side effects of the antibiotic I’m taking that range from mild to you don’t want to know, or perhaps it’s because my job is making me an exhausted wreck, but I’m cranky, real cranky.

So what better time to whine about my layoff one more time…

Really, I’m getting over it little by little. But some days I think back to that day I was told to pack up my desk and leave or I get a picture in my mind of my former boss smirking and acting smug and I know he’s still there, well, I can’t help it, I get angry, real angry.

Perhaps it’s time I reveal why I’m so bitter so maybe you’ll understand.

I’m a cancer survivor. Been in remission since 2004, but is anyone truly cured of this terrible disease? It’s not something I like to talk about. Honestly, I’ve found that most people want to talk about their problems, not yours.

The cancer recurred twice, so I’ve had three major surgeries, the last one was one of the most radical a person can undergo. Yet every time, I healed and went back to work.

I even went to work every day when I was undergoing radiation and chemotherapy. I was tired and sick, but I put in a full day’s work. (OK, I had to go to the bathroom a lot, but I worked harder than most healthy people I know.)

Now, I’m not saying that my former company shouldn’t have let me go me because of my cancer. It was a business decision, right? No special treatment, right? No personal feelings or loyalty to our employees, right? It’s all about the bottom line, right?

But if my working during treatment for a serious illness didn’t engender any loyalty on the part of my former bosses, well, there wasn’t much more I could do for that godforsaken company, was there?

When I’ve mentioned how betrayed I felt when I was laid off even after dragging myself to work during cancer treatment, I’ve gotten mostly indifference.

Yet I don’t feel angry at my bosses so much as myself. What a fool I was!

I remember one time they took us to a skybox at old Shea Stadium (what a dump that place was, but oh, the memories!). Knowing my cheapo former bosses, they probably got some kind of a free deal to take us there.

When they flashed the name of our company on the giant scoreboard, I cheered. Every time I think of that, I get sick to my stomach. I cheered the very same company that I worked so hard for, for so many years, even during hellish cancer treatments, that eventually laid me off! What a stupid fool I was! What was I thinking?! Never again will I be that loyal or trusting of a company.

But, hey, who’s bitter?

Déjà vu All Over Again

Some things never change.

The day after our company-wide meeting, our CEO sent around a rather exasperated email in response to office gossip that more staff cuts were coming. He said there wouldn’t be, but surely he could understand why there would be talk of such things. After he clearly stated during the meeting that positions were being eliminated, it’s understandable other employees would think their jobs were in jeopardy as well. He was naïve to think there wouldn’t be office gossip about more layoffs, especially after so many have either experienced a job termination firsthand, or seen friends and relatives and co-workers laid off.

Yet, I think it’s unrealistic to think company brass is going to announce who is being cut during a company-wide meeting. Those people deserve privacy in such a personal, sensitive matter. Eventually, we will all find out.

(As a side note, one of the people who was let go was a woman who argued against my being hired…what goes around…)

And—and I can’t believe I’m saying this—I think the CEO was wrong to say no more layoffs were coming. Yes, on that day, no more staff cuts were planned. But what about six months from now? Economic conditions can change swiftly, and no CEO should make promises he cannot keep. I don’t want to lose my job or see anyone else lose theirs, but the reality is no one is immune from a layoff.

I recall three months before I was laid off being told by the head of the company that our jobs were safe. A month later he stopped talking to me, and a month after that, I was gone. Was I lied to? No, I don’t think so. I think at the time he believed what he told me. But then the head of the parent company ordered him to make cuts or the entire department was gone. And, well, you know what happened after that.

I will give this new CEO props for being as candid as he can be. At least he and upper management have a plan for the company, a vision. My previous company really didn’t have a proactive business plan or a blueprint to where the company should go. Therefore, they were always making moves in reaction to something else…the economy, what a competitor did, etc. Hence, they made panic moves, like cutting half the staff and killing products that were relatively profitable.

After having been through that experience, I wasn’t really upset by the swirling gossip about possible cuts. I have no reason to think at this date that my job will be eliminated. Maybe I just can't put myself through that emotional drain again. But who knows what will happen a month or six months from now? I also know that if management has targeted you for a layoff, there really isn’t much you can do to save yourself.

Will it be, like Yogi Berra said, déjà vu all over again?

Corporate Doublespeak

Just today, we had one of those company-wide meetings about the new direction the new corporate brain trust wants to take the company.

It can pretty much be summed up thusly, “Blah, blah, blah…consolidation…blah, blah, blah…more profits (we hope)…blah, blah, blah.”

Now, I’m not complaining. At least this company and the new CEO are more open and candid than my other workplace and its executives who were so secretive they would make the KGB look like a girls’ night out.

Nevertheless, there is only so much they are going to say outright. And basically, as workers, we only want to know two things:

1. Will we be getting raises and bonuses this year so I can buy that new jumbo flat-screen TV and move to a new apartment? 
2. Is my job being cut?

Somebody actually asked about staff reductions and to my surprise the executives were fairly candid…up to a point.

They said they wanted to grow the company not downsize. However, later they said because of the new direction/strategy, positions will be eliminated and people will be let go. So which is it? Typical corporate doublespeak.

I understand they were not going to say the names of the people who are about to be let go during a company-wide meeting. Yet judging from my own experience, those people probably already have an inkling of their fate.

They did say those poor sops were going to be treated respectfully. Nice to know. Still, it’s never comforting to know your company is contemplating layoffs (although they will never use that word.) And it's sad for employees to learn that the job they were hired for and did well for so many years is no longer of use for the company. They did nothing wrong, but are being let go because of a business strategy that has no guarantee of success.

At least I can take some solace that by being cut, the jobs of certain people I liked and respected were saved. Not that those bloody ingrates will ever acknowledge it.

It also got me thinking…Which is worse: To lose your job because of a nebulous corporate strategy that may or may not boost profits? Or to lose your job because of a bad economy and stupid bosses who wouldn’t know a business strategy if it bought them a drink in a bar?

The answer? It really doesn’t matter. You are out of a job and no amount of corporate doublespeak is going to make that better.