Ch-Ch-Changes

My current jobless state has me thinking a lot about the nature of change.

Ah, change. A small word with so many meanings.

Some look at a layoff as a path to reinvent themselves, find their true passion, learn a new skill, find a new career or even start their own business. For example, my sister has gone back to school to study culinary arts. Good for her.

Going back to school is an option I have considered. I just need to decide what to study, and, most important, if a new career will guarantee me a job that will be as fulfilling to me as writing. Oh, and how will I pay for it?

For now, I’m just trying to cope with being unemployed, and it doesn’t get any easier as time goes on.

To me, there are two kinds of change. There’s the kind of change that you make yourself, and there’s the change that is hoisted upon you through no fault or action of your own.

Within the latter category are such life-changing events as a serious illness, death of a loved one, divorce and yes, a layoff. You have no control, or limited control, over those changes, which makes them particularly stressful and frustrating.

It’s said that while you cannot change such events, how you react to them is within your control. You can either let them defeat you, or you can persevere.

In that regard, I admit I have not handled my layoff particularly well. So far.

Then there is the change you make yourself: finding a new job, or direction to your life, moving to a new city, getting out of a bad relationship—all worthy endeavors. At least you have control over your fate in those instances.

But sometimes I think our society pushes people to make a change for change’s sake. Anybody who appears contented with their routine in life is said to be a stick in the mud and boring. They are mocked and told to get out of their comfort zone.

Instead, it’s the person who makes a Big Change that is applauded, even if that change is rather risky, ill advised, not well thought out, or possibly even unnecessary.

Yet I’m being judgmental and I shouldn’t be. It’s a personal choice. Some people want stability and security; others crave drama and volatility. Nothing inherently wrong with either of those choices. All we can do is support those around us who are going through a major life change.

Whether to make a change or not also depends on where you are in life. When my mother was terminally ill, I visited her in the hospital every day after work. It was emotionally draining and stressful. Not only did I have to take care of her financial affairs, I had to watch her slowly die day after day for nine months.

When she passed, all I wanted to do was get back to my normal routine of going to work and coming home to eat my dinner. I needed that normalcy.

Now, after the upheaval of a job loss, I’m looking for the stability of employment, or at least some consistent routine or direction to my life.

Of course, nothing is set in stone. If someone is unhappy with a sedate life, he or she can always spice it up. If someone is tired of a chaotic existence, he or she can calm it. It’s up to the individual when and how to make that change.

The subject of change also brings me to the book and movie, Eat Pray Love. No, I haven’t read the book nor do I plan on seeing the movie. But I’ve read enough about the book and movie to get the gist of it.

The author, Elizabeth Gilbert, was unhappy after a divorce and decided to travel to Italy, India and Indonesia. Her travels were the basis of her book, Eat Pray Love. (So where do you think Italy is in that progression?)

From what I can gather, people either hate the book or love it. Some see it as a parable of an unhappy woman seeking spiritual contentment. Others say the book is nothing more than self-absorbed drivel.

Well, the argument is silly. We all want to be happy and have the right to pursue that happiness any way we choose. Just because she was able to finance her quest with a hefty book advance does not diminish her yearning for happiness, a yearning that is universal.

At the time she decided to go on her journey, she needed a change, to find peace of mind. But I find it interesting and instructive to note that she is now happily married and living—in all places!—rural New Jersey.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that are there are times in our lives when we need to make a radical change; other times, we need stability.

Right now, I’m look forward to the stability of a job, but also the opportunity to learn new skills in that job.

That is, of course, if I can get myself hired.