Again

Well, dear readers (all three of you…I sometimes wonder if more people show up for NY Mets games than read these words) I may soon live up to the title of this blog.

Yep, I may be laid off once again, and perhaps as early as this coming week.

You want signs? I’ll give you signs aplenty. Many closed down meetings among the All White Males Club, cryptic messages in an email about “budget cuts from on high,” and the real kicker…I overheard two of those White Males talk loudly about a meeting about the “future of” my department.

Now before you think I was being nosy, those comments were said loud enough for me to hear. If they wanted to keep it hush-hush, they should have kept their pie-holes shut.

When I asked my immediate boss if he knew anything about these meeting, he said he didn’t. More damning evidence that something is afoot and it’s not good. If it were something positive, he would have been involved.

It’s pretty obvious there are discussions about eliminating our department altogether, at the very least. Still I wonder, why our department? Why now?

Then the CEO sends an email Friday afternoon announcing the departure of one of our top executives (nice when you get another job and leave, never having to face the wreckage you’ve caused in other people’s lives). In it, he said there would more announcements next week about a restructuring in the company. Can’t wait.

Call me paranoid (and some have), but those are not good smoke signals. Cuts are coming and my gut feeling is it’s going to be bloody. My stomach is constantly in knots.

Now, I could be wrong. A friend said I was probably being “hyper-vigilant” because of my previous layoff, and she could be right. I could be misinterpreting all these signals. Perhaps nothing more that a rebranding of our department is in store.

It also doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll lose my job. At this company, they have a habit of shuffling people to other positions when their departments are shuttered. I may even get a promotion out of it!

Yeah, right, and I’m going to spend the rest of the summer lounging with George Clooney on the shores of Lake Como.

Even as I wrote those sentences, I know how foolish I sounded. I’m a goner; all that’s left is the “this has nothing to do with your work, it’s a business decision” speech, followed by “clean out your desk and leave.”

I have already brought home my office coffee cup.

And I’m not looking forward to it: The humiliation of cleaning out my desk while my former co-workers avert theirs eyes; the nastiness, the favoritism and backstabbing that goes into these decisions, the utter lack of control over my own professional fate. The long months of job hunting that await me; the daily rejection, the loneliness; and the big one: how will I survive financially this time?

When I was let go before, in 2009, at the height of the recession, I received sympathy. As a two-time laid-off worker, I’ll be seen as a freeloading loser who can’t hold down a job.

And I’m sure there will be people who will rejoice in my layoff, human nature being what it is. But the only person who has any right to gloat would be the woman whose plagiarism I reported and was subsequently fired. Anyone else would be just being nasty.

And really, in this workplace, I’ve been kind and helpful to all; there has never been a time I’ve refused to do what was asked of me. Lotta good that did me, huh?

And once again, my future is being decided by a bunch of middle-aged white guys sitting in a room, men who’d never allow their children to be treated as they are treating us. That sucks.

Even if they did “repurpose” me to another position, I know that is merely a long, slow road to the exit. Whenever they move someone to a “special projects” position, what they are really saying is, “Don’t let the door hit you on the fanny on the way out.” They shifted one guy to four different positions until they finally fired him. It’s really more merciful to be let go immediately.

Now you may be wondering (or not), why not just ask what’s going on? Well, I tried that at my previous workplace. Not only didn’t I find out anything, I was severely reprimanded.

And who would I ask? The higher ups are not going to tell me anything, even if there were anything to tell. HR? No way, they are just tools for the organization.

I don’t see how I can avoid a layoff this time. At my previous job, I could justifiably argue that my experience, seniority and knowledge made me a good candidate to keep. (And how’d that work out for me?) This time, there are plenty of people with more seniority, knowledge and experience they would keep over me.

Nevertheless, I don’t regret taking the job. I had been out of work for 16 months and needed to get back into the game. I’ve learned a whole new industry and new skills. Whether that will help me get another job is a question that has yet to be answered.

So I will go into work Monday, not knowing how much longer I will be employed there. As workers, if we are not joyful in our workday, at least we can be content that we will accomplish our tasks to the best of our abilities, and that our work is appreciated by our bosses.

Not anymore. Instead, we go to work and enter a “Game of Thrones” episode. Who will be beheaded next?

Reentry Job

Most recent economic reports indicate that companies are hiring more workers. Finally, some good news on the job front.

Wall Street did a happy dance over the news, which is bit surprising, considering how investors and analysts love it when companies ditch workers in droves. Perhaps corporations have realized that they cut too much of their workforce and that they need workers to get out their goods and services. Can’t do everything through technology.

Now, I’m not totally convinced that the employment market has completely recovered or that unemployed workers will soon find work. The economy may simply be sputtering in a one-step forward, two-steps back cha-cha-cha. However, for once I’m going to let go of my normal bitterness and cynicism and hail this as good news.

But it also raises an issue, one I have dealt with first-hand, and that is, what is like to go back to work after a long stint on unemployment.

It’s great to have that steady paycheck, but you’ll also returning to petty office politics and meetings that can make your eyes tear from boredom.

Here’s what I learned:

You will be exhausted at first. During my first month back on the job, I was utterly exhausted. No matter how early I went to bed, I was tired and had to drag myself to the office. I even ordered a cream for dark under-eye circles from the TV. Did it work? Nope.

Did it mean I didn’t like the job? That I was no longer capable of being employed? No. When you think about, it was completely normal. For many months, the six o’clock alarm never rang for me. I could wake up as early or late as I pleased (though I always managed to rouse myself by 8 a.m.).

When you return to work, you body has to get adjusted to a whole new schedule. And that takes time. For me it was about a month. So be patient with yourself.

Oh, your aching feet! After months of wearing comfy shoes, it's back to high heels and work footwear that make your feet ache. Well, get used to it.

From slob wear to office wear. No getting around it, you have to dress up for the office. No PJs or sweats. However, I've found that each office has it own unofficial dress code. My current workplace is less formal than my previous office. Jeans are allowed everyday, not just on casual Fridays. But if you wear jeans, wear dark-wash, trouser-style. Much more professional. Leave the baggy, light-wash Mom jeans for gardening and watching stupid chick-flicks. And it goes without saying, if you have to attend an event or have a formal meeting, wear something business-like. A black pants suit will always do.

Remember, you’re the new girl (or guy). Every office has its own procedures and personality. It may be completely different from your last workplace. You may even find that there were some things your previous office did better (the horror!).

But to come in and try to change the ways of your new workplace is probably not the best tactic. Remember, you’re the new girl or guy so it’s up to you to fit in with those who have been there for years and maybe decades. Best to keep quiet and assimilate with your new surroundings.

A word about office gossip. In a word, no. Office gossip is probably as old as mankind. I’m sure if you translated the ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs on cave walls, there would be something to the effect of: “That skank Cleo slept her way to the top” or “Who does he think he is? A pharaoh?”

It’s tough to avoid office gossip. Anytime humans are in close contact there are bound to be misunderstandings and petty tiffs. The best we can do is to avoid engaging in office gossip as much as possible. If you find yourself upset over a co-worker’s action, stay calm and don’t react immediately. Take a walk, or a deep breath. It may have been a silly misunderstanding not worth getting your knickers in a twist over. Sometimes a bit of humor can defuse a potentially ugly situation over something quite nonsensical.

I’ve found that office gossip is a like a boomerang: If you do it, it will always come back to bite you in the butt eventually. It can backfire on you. So don’t do it or keep it to a minimum.

Paranoia runs deeps. After you’ve been laid off, it’s only natural that you will feel it can happen again. Are you being paranoid? Partially. But I think it’s also because you’ve learned to spot some the signs a layoff is coming: a change in upper management, many closed-door meetings among the All White Males Club and other layoffs within the company.

During a recent conference call about the change in the company’s direction (i.e., layoffs), one person said he felt like there was a guillotine over his head. A bit harsh, but true: The fact is, any company can lay off any worker at any time, so there really isn’t much you can do about it. Worrying about it won’t change the situation.

All you can do is do your job to the best of your ability everyday until they tell you to pack up your desk and leave.

This is your second chance. In the long months during my unemployment, I thought long and hard about why I was let go. What did I do to deserve this? I do believe I was treated unfairly but in reality, I will never know what rationale my bosses used to terminate me.

Yet I also thought about what I did that may have facilitated my layoff. In all candor, I had to admit my behavior at times was less than sterling. I spoke out of turn too many times when I should have kept my mouth shut and minded my own business. I was hesitant to learn new technology. Those characteristics may have made it easier for my bosses to show me the door.

What specifics? Well, I used to complain about my former boss to a co-worker. When my former boss was let go, and that co-worker was promoted to her position, who do you think remembered what I said  and made sure I was laid off? She did, of course. And I can't blame her. She probably thought I would back-bite against her. I never did, but I could understand why she would think that way. I've learned to watch what I say so it won't come back to haunt me.

If you do hear some juicy gossip through the office grapevine, don't repeat it.

And if your boss or co-worker is driving you crazy, talk to a family friend or co-worker outside of work. That way, it won't get back to the person you were badmouthing, and maybe they can give you some objective advice on how to deal with the situation.

Going through a bad experience can be a good learning experience if you are willing to be honest with yourself. The only beneficial thing that can come from our past mistakes or hardships is the opportunity to learn, grown and become a better person for it. Don’t waste this opportunity. Let something good come from your misfortune; otherwise, it would have all been for naught.

So take advantage of this second chance. I did. Though I’ll never be a tech whiz, I have learned new skills. I’ve also cleaned up my act and it’s made my daily work life much better. Don’t get me wrong, the workload is stressful and sometimes my co-workers and bosses annoy me. But I don’t let it bother me and I don’t react to it in a negative manner. I’ve been helpful and courteous even when I believe these people should be bitch-slapped into submission.

Ironically, when you don’t take yourself or your job too seriously, it can actually make you a better worker.

The reply all function is not your friend. If there is only one thing you take from this blog let it be this: THE REPLY ALL FUNCTION IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.

I learned this the hard way at my previous job when I hit the reply all button to send off what I thought was a joke. Instead of laughter, I had people come to desk and scream at my face.

In retrospect, the comment wasn’t funny and it was easy to see why they took it the wrong way. I made a stupid, stupid mistake. So, please, before you hit the reply all button, or the reply button, for that matter, think before you do it. It may save you a lot of grief.

So there you have it…I hope it helps all those who have returned to work after being unemployed for way too long. Think of this job as your reentry job, the job that gets back into the workforce, the job that sets you farther and farther away from the stench of unemployment and in the good graces of HR drones. You don’t have to stay there forever, if you don’t choose to.

The best advice I can give to any worker is to mind your own business, never talk about politics or religion in the workplace and don't act like a jerk. Follow those rules and you should be OK.

Yes, you are probably making less than what you did at your previous job. But I have to agree with Suze Orman on this: Take the job, even at less pay. I did. A lot of good things can happen with a steady paycheck: employer-sponsored health-care, a 401(k) plan and the opportunity to learn new skills and improve your office behavior. And that can only help you get your next job.

No Job? Too Bad!

It’s still happening, folks. Long-term unemployed are still being shut out of jobs simply because they had the bad luck to be laid off during the worst recession since the Great Depression.

This isn’t just my cynical take, folks. When researchers sent out of over a thousand fictitious resumes, all with roughly the same qualifications, guess who got called in for the interview? Not those who had been out of work for six months or more, even though the long-term jobless in some instances had better qualifications than those who were called in for an interview.

This is a very sad Catch-22. How can unemployed people get back to work if they are summarily dismissed for job openings? How can they become tax-paying, productive citizens again?

I know what the companies will say: If someone has been unemployed for so long, their skills atrophy. So why should we hire a person we will have to train? Companies are loath to train new workers.

Now, as someone who has been through this situation, I can say that is a completely bogus argument. During my unemployment, I did freelance work, putting my unemployment benefits at risk, because I wanted to show potential employers fresh work.

And yes, when I started my job, I had to learn new skills. But with hard work and minimal training from a co-worker, I learned. It wasn’t easy, and I admit, mistakes were made in the beginning. But honestly, some of the new skills didn’t require all that much training; most workers can puzzle it out on their own, as I did and still do.

Companies further howl that they should be allowed to make their own employment decisions, unfettered by regulations. But this practice is clearly discrimination and should be outlawed. It’s illegal.

There are solutions. I say we give free tuition to any community college to anyone unemployed for over a year. They can learn new skills and get back into the working world.

I recently read that the younger brother of the pair who set off bombs at the Boston Marathon received a scholarship to attend college, a good college most of us would never have the opportunity to attend.

So we give money to someone who hates this country so much he kills innocent people but we can’t give a job or tuition to someone who has been out of work for six months?

What I know for sure...

Oprah Winfrey has a listing of what she calls “What I know for sure,” in which she bestows her pearls of wisdom. There are worse people you can take advice from.

In that vein, I’d like to list the things I have learned from working, being laid off and life in general:

Companies don’t care about their workers. They care about the bottom line. If they have to cut workers to save the company, they will do that.

Upper management doesn’t care about workers. Upper management cares only about perpetuating their own power base and being surrounding by their sycophantic favorites. If you are not one of their favorites, start packing up your desk.

Companies don’t care about the workers they have laid off. They care about the public and their competitors knowing they have laid off workers.

There are worse things than being laid off: losing a loved one, being diagnosed with a serious illness. Yet losing your job is nevertheless a traumatic experience.

The people who tell you that being laid off is no big deal have never been laid off.

The New York Mets bullpen sucks.

Some laid off workers are OK with it; others are bitter and angry. It depends on the individual and how they process the termination. We should not judge.

If you are laid off, don’t be surprised if you find out later that one of so-called work “friends” stabbed you in the back to ensure your termination.

If a co-worker gets laid off and you are still on staff, DO NOT say to your former co-worker that “they had to lay you off to save the company.”

They are called skinny jeans for a reason. If you are not skinny, do not wear them.

The “reply all” function is not your friend. Use sparingly.

Sean Connery was the best Bond.

In my interactions with all people, I try to stay positive and sympathetic, keeping whining to a minimum. Yet when I hear people say they don’ want to be around negative people, I think what they really mean is, “I don’t want to hear your problems, but let’s talk about me …”

What goes around, comes around. Treat people kindly, and you'll get kindness in return. If you treat people badly, you'll get that in return.  I have seen this in my life, both for the good and the bad.

When you treat people badly, apologize and makes amends as soon as humanly possible. It's all you can do.

Some people will always think they are better than you. Let them.

Some people will treat you badly. Let them. Trust that they will get their comeuppance someday, in some way.

Nothing is better than dark chocolate.

If a company has targeted you for a layoff or has eliminated your position, there isn’t much you can do about it,

What you can do, and the only course any worker can take, is to come into work every day and do your job to the best of your ability … until they tell you not to.

So, there’s my “What I know” list. What are some of yours?

Mixed Signals

Reading articles on the economy and the job market nowadays can give a person a severe case of whiplash.

Unemployment is down to around 7% after hitting a high of nearly 10% some three years ago. Hooray!

Yet major companies like Disney and Caterpillar have announced layoffs and jobless claims are up. Closer to home, my own company continues to cut positions and my gut feeling is that more layoffs are on the way.

So what gives? Which do we believe?

An article I read this morning puts it all in perspective. Yes, the unemployment rate is down, but that’s because many long-term jobless have simply given up looking for work. Either they have retired early (if they were in their 50s), gone on disability (if they qualified), or gone back to school (if they are younger).

“Unemployment dropped for all the wrong reasons,” summed up one economist.

This is happening in our supposedly recovering economy? When will it ever end? When will companies start to hire again and stop this vicious cycle of more and more layoffs?

I have to chuckle every time I read a politician or some commentator complain about people living off of unemployment benefits. First, we’ve paid into that fund with our payroll taxes, so we are, in essence, getting our own money back. Why is right for us taxpayers to bail out major companies when they make stupid mistakes, but honest, hard-working people can’t get funds to help them when they are going through a rough patch with no work?

Second, once those unemployment benefits run out and a person cannot find work, they are going to move to another social safety net, like foods stamps, disability or Social Security. Yet nobody, least of all the corporations, want to pay taxes that help support those programs.

And most likely, jobless people are receiving less income then they were when they were working, so they cannot buy goods and services, which forces companies to cut more workers.

So come on, Mr. CEO, how about hiring more workers? Let’s stop this vicious cycle. Put people to work and get this economy moving forward again. We’ll all benefit.

Potato Chips

Way back when, there was a popular TV commercial about potato chips. The clever tagline was: “Bet you can’t eat just one!” (Never could myself.)

In today’s corporate world, perhaps the mantra should be: “Bet you can’t cut just one employee!”

That point was driven home this week when we received an email from our CEO about some “exciting” transformations in one of our departments. Once you read beyond that cheery opening, he got down to brass tacks and used a word that strikes fear into every worker’s heart: outsourcing. Yes, some of the department’s functions were being outsourced and because of that, six people were being let go by the end of the month. (Side note: If you were informed your job was being eliminated in three weeks, would you stay or would say, Frug you, and leave immediately?)

Naturally, he expressed regret over those employees who were losing their jobs (spare me your faux concern). But it had to be done to “transform” the company.

By my count this makes 16 people who have been let go since the beginning of the year. This after an entire department was pretty much wiped out in the fall…and after the CEO said he wasn’t planning any more personnel cuts. Oh, really….

To be fair, I truly understand that companies have to make expense cuts to survive and unfortunately, that means jobs are eliminated. Corporations have been in survival mode for so long that they have adopted a bunker mentality and are simply hunkering down in an effort to stay afloat. When the next economic tsunami hits, they want to be ready. Hard to argue with that logic.

But sometimes I wonder if corporations are taking it to an extreme.

When does cost cutting mutate from being a means to an end (higher profits, a leaner operation) to an end in and of itself? Is it possible that cost cutting can become the sole purpose of the corporation, its raison d'etre? Let’s cut more and more! Build up those profits! But what about making new products and services? Have corporations forgotten their basic missions? Have U.S. companies become nothing more that cost-cutting, job-slashing machines? How much can a company outsource before it becomes nothing more than a desk and a modem?

Cost cutting and eliminating jobs are easy to do. But innovation, well, that’s a lot tougher. And if a company wants to expand they will have to hire more employees, right? But that’s against their corporate mission.

And just because a company may hire in one area while cutting in others doesn’t mean the company is expanding. It just means it is maintaining the status quo. Until you actually hire more and expand your employee base or add new goods or services, you are merely shuffling deck chairs on the Titanic.

And what of our CEO, who clearly said he wasn’t planning any more job cuts. How can we believe or trust him? Which department will he and management target for transformation next? How many more of us will lose our jobs?

Because when it comes to employees, bet you can’t just cut one.

“Do you want to hire us?”

Dear Corporate Fat Cats:

It’s been a while since I last sent you a letter. I hope you are doing well, what with all the corporate profits you are racking in, you must be quite pleased with yourself.

And with the help of your friends in Congress, you will be paying less in taxes. How wonderful for you.

Alas, some of your corporations aren’t doing so well, like JC Penney. But you can always cut more staff. That is a surefire way to boost profits, right? Cut your way to profitability is always the path to take when you need to increase your bonuses.

It’s too bad that the people you have laid off can no longer buy your goods or services. But, hey, if things get worse, just lay off more people, right?

It really takes too much time and effort to come up with new goods and services people will actually want to buy. Better to cut expenses than build new plants to manufacture products that will put people to work. Who needs new revenue streams when you can simply cut more workers? Wall Streets loves, absolutely loves, a company that lays off more and more workers.

But aren't you supposed to be the job creators? 

But it’s not your fault, Mr. Corporate Fat Cat. You want to hire more people, you really do, but they don’t have the skills you need, or so you say. Lower your taxes and you may hire more workers, you tell us.

How about paying your fair share of taxes so our high schools and community colleges can educate future workers with the skills you need? Just a suggestion.

Even if applicants came to you with the skills you say you need, would you hire them? I mean, that would mean spending money on their salaries, and that would cut into your annual bonuses. Not so sure about that, are you? Why ruin a good thing.

So I have to ask, Do you want to hire us?

Sincerely,

The American Worker