Life Hacks for Unemployed Losers

Instead of my usual whiny rants against unfair layoffs, nasty bosses, douchey clients, and blatant ageism in hiring practices, I’d like to discuss another favorite topic: How to save

money when you are unemployed and have no steady income.

I’ve touched on this topic previously, detailing how you can convert credit card points and frequent flyer miles for gifts and trips. I’ll spare you the obvious money-saving tips like coupon clipping (which you should be doing whether employed or not) and seeking out discounts whenever possible.

When you are a long-term unemployed loser, you must be more resourceful than that. Just this week, I used some creativity to save myself an enormous amount of money on a hair cut and color.

It had been almost two years since my last visit to a hair salon, and, frankly, my hair was getting unruly. It had grown to waist-length, and to be honest, I’m well past the age when flower-child, long, flowing locks are appropriate. It was a tangled mess, and oof — the gray! But I avoided the hair salon because paying rent and buying food took priority.

Yet it got to the point where I could no longer ignore the matted mishmash at my crown. It was weighing me down — literally and figuratively. I have thick, wavy hair — the kind everyone thinks they want until they realize it means a five-minute blow-dry every morning, gets knotted easily when too long, and frizzes like a Brillo pad in the humidity.

What could I do? My regular hairdresser charges $140 for a cut and color. Too expensive. Heck, that’s too pricey even when I did have a job.

I checked Super Cuts, which would have brought the cost down to $70. Cheaper, but could I do better, I wondered?

Then I remembered how dental hygienist schools sometimes give low-cost teeth cleanings as a teaching tool for their students. Might not a beauty school do the same?

So, through the wonder that is Google, I found a beauty school near me. Yes, its salon welcomed clients, and the price list on its website was more than reasonable. I called and was told to come for a skin test to ensure I didn’t have an allergic reaction to their products. I did so and saw no bad reaction.

Once I got payment for a freelance job, I called for an appointment. My hairdresser was a student, but she was near the end of the program. That makes sense — doubtful the school would unleash a new student on a salon client.

Further, the instructor — the flashily dressed Miss Sue — supervised every step of the cut and coloring process while fluttering around on electric-blue, seven-inch heels. A person like her could only exist in Jersey. Yet underneath her frosted crown of hair, she obviously knew her job and was a top-notch teacher. I felt assured my new hairdo would be professionally done — which is not something I can say of every salon I’ve visited in the past. I’ve endured some terrible haircuts by indifferent and sometimes downright nasty hairdressers that left in me in tears and took nine months to grow out. In college, one “hairdresser” scowled at me while he hacked chunks of my hair in willy-nilly fashion. Unbelievable. I left feeling it was my fault because I had “bad” hair.

Because of those frightening incidents, I usually request a blunt cut, nothing too fancy. So, I knew going in I wasn’t asking for anything too elaborate and definitely something a student hairdresser could handle. I merely wanted a trim and a dye matching my natural hair color to cover the gray. I couldn't look any worse than I did before I entered the beauty school salon.

Now, she was deliberate, as you would expect (and want) a student to be. The whole process took over three hours, longer than a normal salon visit that typically takes two.

Now to the best part: the cut and color cost $34. With a $12 tip (okay, I could have given more, but remember, I’m still unemployed), the entire bill came to $46. Not bad, and the results are excellent. My new hairdo looks as if were done by a professional — and it was.

I would definitely recommend contacting a local beauty school if you want to save a lot on a hair cut and color. You have nothing to lose by giving it a try. If you want a more elaborate hairstyle for a special occasion, then go to a professional salon. But for a basic cut and color, a beauty school is a great option. Hey, if it doesn’t look good, you can always go to a regular salon for a redo; but as my experience shows, that won’t be necessary. Choose a well-established, national chain, as I did, not some fly-by-night cosmetology school. Do your research.

When you are unemployed, you must get inventive to find ways to save money on so-called non-essential items. Will a new haircut and no grays help get me a job? Who knows? Solve my financial problems? No. However, I feel a tad better about myself, and even the smallest boost in confidence can’t hurt at this point.

Now, about that mani-pedi...