Living Joblessly

What’s it like to live joblessly? To one day be gainfully employed, and the next day not? To be unconsciously (or unconscionably) uncoupled from your job with no warning?

To lose your job through no fault of your own (or so you’ve been told), yet still be demeaned as a lazy bum by some politicians and society at large?

Since this is my second go-around as a laid-off worker, I have some observations and feelings about what it’s like to be in the perpetual Lent that is long-term unemployment.

Living joblessly means…

Going into stores and seeing beautiful clothes and housewares and delicious food, but knowing you can’t buy. Hard to live in a consumerist society when you can’t be a consumer.

Living with near daily rejection…for jobs you know you can do.

Putting on a happy face with friends and family…but inside you’re dreadfully unhappy.

Feeling like you are suddenly incompetent…even though you’ve built a career for over 20 years. Has my whole life been wasted?

Putting your life on hold. New apartment? No way. Fiat 500? Arrivederci.

Having to job search all day and then watch the New York Mets bullpen blow lead after lead. Had to inject a bit of humor.

Wondering endlessly if there were anything you could have done to save your job. And were you bad at your job? Is that why you were laid off?

Constantly worrying over your rapidly dwindling finances. Will I ever get a job again? Will I end up homeless?

Feeling shame over you jobless state. You’d rather stay inside than have to tell people you’ve been laid off.

You're never quite sure what day it is. Is it Monday? Thursday? Saturday? What's a weekend?

You sometimes think the only thing worse than not getting a job is getting a job. Think on that a bit.

Stressing over how you will pay for health insurance if you don’t get a job, your COBRA runs out and you missed the Obamacare deadline.

Only buying $5 bottles of wine. Just when you need it most...

You become pathologically obsessed with people more successful than you. Anybody with a job is more successful than you.

Realizing how little help there is for the long-term unemployed and how stigmatized you are. You are the 21th Century equivalent of lepers.

Never, ever talking to people about how bad you feel about losing your job. Yet having to spend hours listening to their miniscule problems.

Never, ever having hope. Hope can be crushed so easily.

Joblessness is loneliness.

Those are some of my perceptions of what it’s like to be long-term unemployed. Do you have any others? I’d love to hear them.