Why Facebook is "Like" Junior High

So Mark Zuckerberg plans to take Facebook public and reap billions. Nice chunk of change for a guy who has made a killing off the social media craze.

Yet I contend that he has made his fortune not on the social media phenomenon, computer technology, coding ability or his sheer entrepreneurship.

No, he’s made his money off of social insecurity. You know, the kind that plagued you back in junior high school, when all you cared about was how many friends you had and whether they “liked” you or not.

Think about it: How many times have you gone on Facebook and wondered why so-and-so has so many friends, like in the hundreds, and you barely crack 50? Why don’t more people comment on your posts? Or at least like them?

Frankly, I think it’s silly for adults to think like junior high school kids, but sometimes it’s hard not to. I think a person should have as many friends on Facebook as they are comfortable with. (Although I do think those who have friends in the thousands are venturing into crazy land. Seriously, do you want to be a cult?) It’s really not that difficult to get a lot of friends on Facebook if all you want is a long friend list.

In the interest of full disclosure, I was not popular in my school days. Well, that doesn’t quite do it justice: I was a bottom feeder, a total nonentity to my classmates. I was shy and sickly and was dealing with a very bad home life. So it’s no surprise that I was unpopular and I can’t blame my classmates for not recognizing the stress I was under. They were young and had their own problems to deal with, like who was going to take them to the prom.

Fortunately, my social skills have improved a lot since then and I’ve learned to become a better friend. Yet I am still insecure in social situations and don’t make friends easily. The root, I believe, is that I automatically think someone won’t like me and reject me outright, instead of believing they would want to be my friend. Being unpopular in junior and senior high can have lifelong consequences.

Which makes me wonder why a handful of friends from my school days want to now friend me on Facebook. I honestly believe these people could not pick me out of a crowd if you put a gun to their heads and paid them a $1 million. They either mocked me or totally ignored me in junior and senior high. So why be my friend on Facebook now? More likely they were trolling FB for people from our hometown and happened upon my name in an attempt to plump up their friend list. As Teresa from the Real Housewives of New Jersey would say, Go Scratch.

So what has me ranting about Facebook at this moment?

Yep, you guessed it. I was un-friended recently. Nothing catapults you back to that seventh-grade lunchroom than having someone anonymously dump you on FB.

I have no idea why this person did the deed. But isn’t that point? To un-friend me without me knowing about it or why and making me feel like crap? You know, like kids used to do in junior high.

Perhaps she decided to pare down her friend list and decided that I was not worthy of any more communication with her. That I can understand. She doesn’t have to be my friend anymore if she chooses not to. I’d just like to know why. Don’t I deserve that much common courtesy?

Did something I posted on Facebook offend her? That’s doubtful. I don’t post that much and what I do post mostly has to do with funny things, my lame attempts at humor and dogs.

An aside here: If you are going to post political comments on Facebook, fine. But just be warned that you will get pushback from those who may disagree with you. I don’t post political comments myself but others are welcome to do so.

Since going on Facebook, I’ve chosen whom to friend carefully. A lingering hangover from my junior high days, I prefer not to court rejection by asking people I doubt would respond positively to my friend request.

Yet I don’t confirm every friend request I get, just as some people (one guy, really) I have requested to be friends with have ignored my request.

I’d rather do it that way instead of friending someone and then later un-friending him or her. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, even when I’m forced to read numerous posts on their children’s pooping habits.

I actually thought about asking the person who un-friended me why she did so, and even thought about sending another friend request to her. But I decided to respect her wishes.

Too bad she didn’t have the same respect for my feelings.

But that's the beauty of Facebook. It allows some people to be as nasty as they were back in junior high.