Flashbacks

I had an incident of PTLS, otherwise known as Post-Traumatic Layoff Syndrome, at my new job last week.

Two people from the HR department of the parent company visited my satellite office for the day. The head of HR immediately went into a closed door meeting with the head of the division. So, of course, I freaked out a bit (ok, a lot). HR + closed door meeting with head of division = layoffs. At least that’s how it happened at my previous place of employment. The big guns shut themselves off in their corner offices and decide who stays and who goes. Nice work if you can get it, eh? And why are some people given the power to make those decisions? What makes them safe from termination?

Crazy thoughts went through my head: Would I get laid off again? You know, last one hired, first one fired. Had I been there long enough to qualify for unemployment? Good thing I didn’t buy that new iPhone. How long will it take me to get a job this time around?

My immediate boss assured there was nothing to worry about. In truth, it may just have been that the HR lady was making her normal rounds of the satellite offices. Apparently, there was a major meeting of the company’s board the same week. Not that there was any formal announcement to us peons. I only knew because I saw a printout at the copy machine.

Actually, nothing much happened, except they bought us lunch. (Our last meal?)

Still…after having been through a layoff, and all the attendant rumors and stress that goes before and after the event, it’s hard not to be a bit skeptical and wary. These days, no one is safe. So excuse me if I’m being cynical. Frankly, I don’t trust any HR person or superior anymore.

It also got me thinking, if you know you are going to be laid off, what can you do, if anything?

After having been through the ordeal, here are some of the steps I took, or should have taken:

Talk to your boss. Admittedly, this is a tricky proposition and one that takes a good measure of courage. No boss is going to tell you are about to be laid off, fearing you might make off with company secrets. Yet, if you do take the initiative and talk to your boss in an honest, straightforward and unemotional manner, perhaps something can be worked out. You can say, “Look, I know the company is in financial trouble and my job may be on the line. Is there anything I can do to save my position? If not, can we discuss the possibility of doing some type of freelance or contract work for the company?” Even if you get shot down, you will always know that at least you took proactive steps to possibly save your job, instead of doing nothing and just waiting for the ax to fall like some powerless rag doll.

Pay off your debts. If you know the end of regular paychecks is near, best to pay off your debts as quickly as possible, even if you have to dip into your savings to do it. Unemployment covers the basics, but not much more. And if an emergency arises and you must use your charge card, at least the balance will be low. During my unemployment I had to buy a new computer after my old one literally went up in smoke. Then, my car needed new brakes (who knew brakes had rotors and that the rotors could, you know, break?). You simply pay the minimum each month until a new job comes along.

And let’s hope at that new job you don’t have any flashbacks. I say one layoff in one lifetime is just enough.

Reentry Blues

One week on my new job and how do I feel? Anxious, stressed out and overwhelmed. But I suppose that is normal considering how long I was out of work.

It took three days for my new company to deliver my computer to my cubicle, which is small, dingy and stuffy. I tried to keep busy, but without a computer it was difficult.

I guess I’m also feeling a bad case of buyer’s remorse. Is this the right job for me? Will I succeed? Again, that is probably normal.

I’m also getting used to a whole new set of office dynamics. The people in my office are friendly, but no overly so. No one offered to help me set up my computer. I hear very little chitchat among the staffers. But that may not be a bad thing. I’ve gotten myself into trouble being too nosy with co-workers and putting my foot in my mouth. Better to just do my job and keep my mouth shut.

I also fear having to learn a whole new set of computer programs. This Mac Girl is learning the ABCs of PCs and it won’t come easy for me. That’s on top of getting to know the actual job itself. No wonder I’m stressed.

My rule of thumb has always been that it takes at least three months to get comfortable in a new job, to the point where you feel confident you know what you are doing. Not that you know everything, it’s just that you don’t feel acute anxiety every time to step into the office.

I just have to remember that I was out of work for over a year and it will take time and patience to get readjusted to the working life.

Some other observations:

• While I do have a decent working wardrobe, it’s a pain to put on those clothes every morning.

• I used to commute on the bus to my previous job. Now, I drive, which means I must pay attention on the road. Good thing the drive is fairly short, about 30 minutes.

• Parking at my new office is nonexistent. I have to pay to park at nearby parking lot. Very expensive.

But it will be nice when I get that first paycheck.

Has anyone else felt the same way after getting a job after a long stretch of unemployment?

Back to Cubicleland

Yep, after 16 months without job, I start a new full-time job tomorrow.

I’m still in a state of shock that I finally got a job. Of course, I’m nervous. It’s been a long time since I’ve sat in an office cubicle from 9 to 5, judged by co-workers and bosses on a daily basis.

But I’m also relieved. It will be nice to have a steady paycheck and get off unemployment. The job will utilize my editing and writing skills, but I’ll be learning a new industry, which should keep me interested.

Yes, I did take a cut in pay from my previous job, but I never expected to get the same salary after being unemployed for so long. I had to be realistic. At least I have healthcare coverage through my employer.

I have to admit, I’m anxious. After a bruising layoff and no job for over a year, it will take some time to get readjusted to the world of the working. And as a technophobe, I’m not looking forward to learning new computer systems. Technology has never come easy for me.

I also wonder if I can do a good job. Will I fail? Even worse, will I get laid off once again? Well, I’ve been down that latter road before, so I know what to expect.

There were times when I went on interviews and I looked around at offices filled with cubicles that I sometimes thought, “Do I really want to go back to this? Do I want to get sucked into a vortex of office gossip and backbiting colleagues? I don’t want to be that petty and unpleasant person ever again.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to the job, which usually entailed writing and editing. It was the stifling atmosphere of being in a cubicle all day long and dealing with the different office personalities. I was also afraid I would behave in ways that would not do myself proud as I admittedly did in the past.

Yet recognizing that will go a long way toward helping me overcome those problems and hopefully become a better worker and colleague. I also have come to understand not to define myself by my job and try to get more of a life outside the office walls.

Freelancing was a tempting option. But I doubted, even with more freelance gigs, I could pay my rent plus the $500 a month it would surely cost me for health coverage. And to be honest, the isolation of doing freelance work from home was getting to me. Humans are social creatures and we need to be out and about among other people.

The job market has definitely picked up. In the same week I got the job, I received several requests to come in for job interviews and offers to do freelance work. Nevertheless, it would be risky to refuse this job and possibly not get another one in six months when my unemployment and COBRA benefits stop.

And as I have said before, never again will I stay in a job for as long as I did my prior job. I don’t see myself staying in any position for more than two years. Never say never, but I don’t think working with one employer for an extended period of time is wise. Companies have no qualms about cutting thousands of workers in one fell swoop. So why not be on the lookout for better opportunities and take proactive steps to further and protect your own career? Never again will I believe my bosses have my best interests at heart. That was a painful lesson I needed to learn.

While I’m glad to have a job, the experience of being unemployed for so long will stay with me for quite some time. There are still millions of people out of work and our economy is still not out of the woods, despite what some economists pontificate. We need stability in our economy, not boom and bust cycles that leave thousands unemployed for months and months.

And let me say a word about unemployment benefits. Many politicians and others disdain these benefits. But I say these weekly payments served their stated and useful purpose of helping many people without a job stay afloat financially so they could feed their families and keep a roof over their heads while they searched for another job. Yet even with those benefits, many unemployed workers went into bankruptcy or lost their homes through foreclosure.

It’s great to have a job, but remember, I’m making less. Similar to many others, my spending power will be curtailed. That will reverberate in the economy (and at Macys).

I’ve decided to keep writing this blog. My love of writing (and okay, self absorption) is great enough to keep me at it. I will chronicle my reentry into Cubicleland after an extended period of unemployment; the ups and downs; and what advice I can give to others in the same situation. The psychological impact of my layoff will linger for a while, and those observations may be a help to others still looking for employment.

So, back to work I go. Here’s hoping many others soon follow.

Revenge of the Laid-Off Employee

Revenge takes time.

Sometimes you have to wait…and wait…and wait…and then wait some more. Think of Vito Corleone in Godfather Part II. Remember how he waited years to take revenge on the man who slaughtered his family, Don Ciccio. As a young boy, he escaped to America, but never forgot what that mafia chief did to his mother, father and brother. So when he became a successful “businessman” in America, he returned to Sicily and killed Don Ciccio with a well-placed knife in the old man’s stomach.

Now, I’m not advocating murder. That is a fictional—and extreme—example of revenge. I apologize if anyone is offended by my admittedly over-the-top illustration. But stay with me…because something happened recently that indicates that sometimes, if you wait, you can get your revenge on the people who have done you wrong. Or at least show them the error they made by say, laying you off.

Long story short: I recently went on the website of my former employer. In looking over the most recent articles, I noticed a story that seemed very familiar…and for good reason. The article was taken nearly verbatim from one I had written in 2009. The writer, a former colleague, had interspersed the article with some original quotes, but about half of the article was taken word for word from mine. Yet it had her byline. Stats that are nearly two years old were used and one quote in my original piece was attributed to another person in the latest version. This was an obvious and blatant case of plagiarism, not to mention misleading and shoddy journalism. There was no mention made of the earlier article or any credit given to me. To anyone who reads it, he or she would think it was original, not a rehash of an article nearly two years old

What did I do? I wrote a strongly worded email to my former boss, alerting him to this situation. I said that he could think of me as a disgruntled former employee. But I also pointed out that the proof was in black and white.

He wrote back and said he would “address” the issue in a meeting. He seemed sincere, but I don’t know if anything was said to the writer. Since I no longer work there, he is under no obligation to tell me what occurred in the meeting—if there were one at all.

My guess is that this person got a mild slap on the wrist. At worst, she may be put under an “employee improvement plan,” during which time her work should be closely edited. But I have no way of knowing what action, if any, was taken. Knowing the personalities involved, they probably just wanted to sweep the whole mess under the rug.

But the fact that this so-called editor is still working there points up the unfairness of layoffs. Someone who is so obviously incompetent gets to keep her job, while a laid-off employee has no chance to save his or her job.

To be honest, I don’t feel good about this. Yes, I stood up for myself, but to what end? I’m probably viewed as just another disgruntled employee, a bitch. I was raised to be a “good girl” and not make waves. So this was painful for me. I thoroughly expect the universe will whack me in the butt sooner or later for my rare foray into assertiveness.

Instead of taking the blame squarely for her mistake, the writer is probably angry with me for “tattling.” Yeah, we’re in junior high school. She is a grown woman, a professional. She made the mistake, a pretty egregious one, and now has to own up to her error and not make it again.

But she won’t. She is well liked by the powers-that-be, so she is safe. Easier to blame the messenger and not take any responsibility for her actions.

Yet it could be argued that she violated our former office friendship by ripping off my work. And why did she do it? Why not write a shorter story using her own reporting? Or pick another topic altogether? Yes, the remaining staff is overworked. But none have resorted to this level of plagiarism. There is no excuse for passing off someone else’s work as her own.

Maybe she thinks there was nothing wrong with what she did. That is sad, and incorrect. Just because I worked for the company when I wrote the original article doesn’t mean she, or anyone else, can steal my words.

I don’t plan on taking this any further. No point in it anyway.

But I do take some satisfaction in speaking up and bringing this to the attention of my former boss, even if nothing came of it.

Think of it as wish fulfillment. How many times does a laid-off employee get a chance to say, with concrete proof, “HEY, YOU LAID OFF THE WRONG EMPLOYEE, YOU BOZOS!”

Vito would be proud.

The Bright Side

Seeing the photos of devastation in northeastern Japan serves as a reminder that there are far worse things that can happen in life than being out of work. As much as we think we have nature licked, every so often it reminds us who is really in charge.

So, in that vein, I’ll avoid my usual whine-fest and highlight some of the good things about not having a job. Here it goes:

Prime Time for PT. Physical therapy, that is. After I lost my job, I needed to undergo about three months of intensive physical therapy for a condition related to some prior surgeries I underwent. The treatments were twice a week, one hour each session. No way would I have been able to do the therapy and keep up my schedule at work. And I doubt my bosses would have allowed me to take time off during the workday to do it.

So, if you need physical therapy or elective surgery, do it while you are unemployed. Provided, of course, you are covered by health insurance.

Free Lunches. During my jobless stretch, several times friends have offered to buy me lunch. Of course, I always offer to pay, but I think most people want to do something nice for a friend going through a tough stretch.

However, don’t take advantage. You don’t want to end up jobless and friendless.

Afternoon Naps. Enough said.

Better Budgeting. I didn’t think I overspent while I was employed, but perhaps I did and didn’t realize it. Now I do. Nothing like a long stretch of unemployment to make you focus on your spending habits and expenses. That’s a good thing, and something that will stay with me after I get a job.

Volunteer. I’m in the middle of an eight-week program to help teach a young Korean woman in my town to speak better English. (I just hope she doesn’t end up with my Joisey accent.)

With no job, you really have no excuse not to do some type of volunteer work if you want to. And don’t think only of formal volunteer work. Take a friend or neighbor to a doctor appointment. Helping others provides a lift to your spirit at a time when you are not getting much positive feedback. It acts as a nice counterbalance to all those rejection emails.

Your Time is Your Own. When you work full time, it seems as if everyone from your bosses to family members have dibs on your time. Now, you can make your own schedule and do things at your pace, not someone else’s, whether it be doing errands or searching for a job.

That’s not being lazy; it just means you have a bit more control over your time and how you use it.

While I look forward to the day when I go back to full-time employment, I can appreciate this hopefully brief respite from the 9 to 5 grind. I’ve spent my entire working adulthood doing what other people wanted me to, and where did that get me?

Telemarketers Leave You Alone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stopped telemarketers cold in their tracks when I tell them I cannot give because I’m unemployed. In the beginning, they would press me to buy some useless magazine or donate to everything from children with cancer to the hangnail foundation. Now, they can’t get off the phone with me fast enough. Yep, it’s a sad indication of just how far you have fallen on the socio-economic ladder when telemarketers hang up on you! I’m surprised none have responded that although they may be telemarketers, at least they have a job. Still, it’s nice not having to deal with those annoying people.

All these good things remind me to keep my situation in perspective. Someday, I will get a job and my old life back. Can the same be said of the thousands of people in northeastern Japan?

Statistical Illusions

We’ve all read or heard about the jump in employment in February. However, that good news comes with a lot of caveats and questions.

Not to get bogged down in numbers, but here are the stats from NPR.org:

The Labor Department says the February jobless rate fell a tenth of a percent to 8.9 percent. The AP says that’s the lowest rate in nearly two years. Employers also hired at their fastest pace in a year.

The New York Times points out the separate jobs creation report reveals a huge jump in hiring: 192,000 jobs were created in February, compared to January, when 63,000 new jobs opened up. The higher growth in (February) payroll employment was partly the result of a bounce back from unusually depressed hiring in January, when snowstorms shuttered offices and factories around the country.

In another article, NPR points out that the numbers might be incorrect:

The unemployment rate is based on the Labor Department’s monthly Current Population Survey, which is a questionnaire sent to about 60,000 households. That translates into about 110,000 individuals, and is a far bigger survey than any conventional public opinion poll.

But it still has a substantial margin of error—higher than the government’s survey of employers, which is the source for statistics about jobs gained or lost every month.

Maybe it’s my outta-work-for-more-than-a-year cynicism, but I’m not buying this supposed “good” news.

Yes, there are a few bright spots: manufacturers added 33,000 jobs in February. America is always at its best when it makes things. Temporary hiring is also up, which is a precursor to permanent jobs. We hope.

So, what does this indicate for the economy as a whole? Will more industries start hiring? In my profession, does this mean publishers and media companies will see a spike in ad sales and hire more staffers? I don’t think so.

Companies have probably cut as much at they could cut in terms of staffing. But I doubt that means they are going on a hiring spree.

I’m not sure one month of good employment news means much. And is a near 9 percent unemployment rate anything to cheer about?

Will this give HR people even more reason not to hire us? They could think, “Well, job creation is up and these people still can’t get hired? Something must be wrong with them.”

Will the always-fickle media now forget the plight of the long-term unemployed with hiring supposedly on the upswing?

What happens if gas goes to up to $4 a gallon or more? Will that push this fragile recovery back into recession?

And what will happen to the unemployment rate when those thousands of state workers and teachers around the country get laid off?

Even if someone does find a job, it’s very likely he or she was hired at a lower salary. How does that help the economy?

I’m sure there are many persons who have been jobless for so long that they have given up hope of ever finding employment, which may be artificially lowering the unemployment rate.

Many economists have said it will take years to recoup the job losses piled up in this recession. We need more than one month of “good” job numbers.

For the millions of us who are unemployed, until we are actually hired for a job, these numbers are meaningless. Just a lot of statistical illusions.

Sloppy Seconds

Yesterday, I received a most unusual rejection email.

It went like this:

“Thank you so much for your terrific edit test, but we have decided to go with another candidate at this time.

It was a really tough call—I wish I could hire two editors! However, if things don’t work out as we have planned (and they sometimes don’t with freelance situations), I do hope you’d still consider the position.

I would like to keep the lines of communication open, as you are wonderful writer, and your experience and expertise would be a wonderful asset to our organization.

It was a pleasure speaking with you—so please stay in touch.”

Hey, at least it wasn’t the standard “We’ve decided to go with another candidate and good luck in your job search” (dis)missive. I mean, are companies truly sincere when they wish us good luck in our job search? If they really cared, they would hire us, right?

And I really don’t get upset when I receive a rejection email. It’s just part of the job-seeking process.

But I digress.

This particular job was for steady freelance work that would have paid $2,000 a month. I could have kept doing my other freelance gig, but probably would have had to give up the unemployment benefits.

The job entailed writing and editing for the website of a regional lifestyle consumer magazine. I’ve been trying to break into consumer publications for a while, so this would have been a good opportunity.

However, the job required a lot of technical expertise that I do not have at this time. Although when I spoke to the editor, I made it clear I was willing to learn and she said there would be a training period. My guess is she went with somebody who already had those technical skills, which is understandable.

I feel two ways about the email. On one hand, she did compliment my writing. We unemployed people get so little feedback—good or bad—that any positive reinforcement is welcome. Considering unemployed job seekers are treated with either indifference or outright rudeness, her email was quite nice. She didn’t have to explain anything to me. Most companies don’t even bother getting back to applicants.

Yet, I came in second and still don’t have a job. And sometimes coming in second can be just as devastating as finishing last (see the New York Mets, 2006-08). It’s extremely frustrating.

And what if the person she hired works out? There’s no guarantee she would hire me. I’m just sloppy seconds.

And frankly, I think it’s a bit presumptuous of her to think I’d wait around for her to offer me the job, a job she has already rejected me for. If another viable, full-time opportunity comes along, of course I would take it…although that is looking increasingly unlikely every passing day.

Nevertheless, I wrote back to her, thanking her for her kind words. I also said I would be available for any freelance writing projects. What else could I say?

Tell me about your unusual rejection emails or letters.