Rejection Fatigue

AAAARRRRGGGHHH! I got one this morning.

OH NO! Another one came in the afternoon! Two in one day!

Twice, less than 12 hours apart, I had to endure what every job seeker dreads: the rejection email, just another paper cut to my self-confidence.

Sometimes you get rejection emails from a company for which you didn’t actually interview with in person. These robo-rejection emails are generated by the digital HR program that spits out qualified résumés the way you spit out watermelon seeds.

Sometimes you get rejection emails from a company you interviewed with in person. In my experience, however, that’s a pretty rare occurrence. Most of the time companies don’t even extend you the courtesy of informing you were, well, rejected.

I think that’s a bit rude, don’t you? I mean, if I’ve taken the time to come to your office (which sometimes has meant an hour commute or more) and have even taken a test, I believe I deserve to know if I were chosen or not. But what do I know? My feelings apparently don’t matter to HR. I’m just an overage, laid-off job seeker who doesn’t deserve basic human courtesy.

Though to be honest, if you haven’t heard back from an employer within say, two weeks, you can assume you were rejected. No email needed.

And to be fair, sometimes I get emails asking me to come in for an interview. Yet so far, that has only led to what seems to be the inevitable rejection email or nothing at all...sounds of crickets chirping...

The wording of the rejection emails is typically the same: Thank you for applying…after careful consideration we’ve decided to go with other candidates…good luck in your future endeavors. Blah…Blah…Blah….

The last part always irks me. These companies care nary a rat’s patootie for me or any other applicant. They know they’ve probably just screwed scores of applicants out of a job all are qualified to do. So why go through the pretense of wishing us luck? It’s right up there with the lie that they keep our résumés on file. Yeah, I’ll believe that the day the New York Mets trade for Giancarlo Stanton.

Someday, I'd like to ask a HR person why they don't respond to applicants, even if the applicant came in for an interview. Too many applicants? Don't want to hurt anyone's feelings? Can't be bothered? Knowing HR people, it's unlikely I'd get an honest answer. These are people who routinely lie to workers and are mere tools of upper management.

Yet I’m of two minds about rejection emails. Sometimes I think it’s better not to know if you were rejected. Or why. If I knew why I was rejected, I’m not sure my rapidly dwindling self-confidence could withstand it.

Because each time I read one of those rejection emails, doubt and negativity seeps into my psyche: I’m not good enough. Everybody is better than me. They picked someone who went to a better school. I’m incompetent. I’m stupid. I’ll never be hired for a job again. I know I shouldn’t feel that way, that I should fight those damaging feelings. But it’s getting harder and harder with every rejection email.

Honestly, I’m tired, soul weary of applying for jobs, going on interviews, taking tests…and ultimately getting rejected. I have rejection fatigue. Not sure I can bear...one...more...rejection...email. It's understood that rejection is part of any job hunt, but at some point, there has to be some positive reinforcement, like an actual job offer.

When I first conceived this blog post, I thought about equating my job hunting/rejection experience with my days in junior high and high school when I was truly one of the most unpopular, sickly kids in school. (Yeah, I know. Navel gazing at its most self-indulgent, right? Remember, I have a lot of time on my hands.) Then I thought better of it. Nobody wants to read (much more) about how my classmates cruelly mocked, excluded, and ignored me. How my pathetic attempts to be popular only engendered more scorn from my peers. It was horrible.

Suffice to say that nothing beams me back to those desolate days in the seventh grade lunchroom when I was the sad-eyed, lonely little girl no one apparently wanted to befriend than getting a job rejection email.