Do You Remember Me?

It’s been three years since I was laid off and although I’ve found another job (for the time being anyway) and have (somewhat) gotten over it, there’s a question I’d like to ask my former bosses and co-workers:

Do you remember me?

…or am I just another nameless, faceless former colleague who was let go while you stay employed and so the company could still stay in business?

I haven’t reached out to many of my former co-workers very much. Too much resentment (on my part) and awkwardness (perhaps on their part). It’s a sticky situation for all involved and I must be mindful of that. While I can badmouth my former workplace to other colleagues who were laid off, it’s a bit trickier to do so with those still employed there. They may feel some measure of loyalty to the company and don’t want to hear anything negative about it. I have to be respectful of that. For that reason, I’ve kept my distance and would not badmouth my former company to anyone still working there. 

The few times recently when I did reach out to former colleagues still employed at my former company via Facebook, the response has been, well, underwhelming. I’ve gotten no response at all, to be honest; a resounding thud of silence. I thought I was back in junior high. In fact, two former colleagues un-friended me on Facebook?!

Not sure why. What did I do to them? Did my getting laid off to save their jobs somehow offend them? I have never mentioned anyone by name and never will in this blog. So what did I do to make them turn their back on me?

I have also never badmouthed my former company on Facebook. The only time I contacted my former boss was to tell him a former colleague plagiarized an article I wrote. Looking back, if I had to do it again, I wouldn’t have done what I did. But the person in question got another job and appears to be doing fine. The whole incident had nothing to do with anyone else who still works there. Why treat me like a leper?

Would they feel uncomfortable talking to me? They don’t have to. I don’t hold what happened to me against them. (Well, except for the head of the company, a thoroughly despicable person devoid any redeeming qualities.) Perhaps it would help my healing process if I did hear from them from time to time. Apparently, they do not wish to do so and I can’t force them.

It's sad. For years, I exchanged Christmas and birthday gifts with these people, attended their bridal showers. Now? I'm nonexistent to them.

And another question occurs to me:

Was it all worth it?

Did all those layoffs done in the name of saving the company really save the company? Yes, my former workplace is still in business and people are still employed there. But it’s doubtful the company is wildly profitable. No company is in our industry.

My former boss used to say, “We want to thrive, not just survive.” What an idiotic saying. Well, it doesn’t look like the company is thriving. From what I can see from the outside, management is doing everything they can just to hang on by their fingernails. It’s barely surviving. They are too busy saving themselves and their lapdogs to find new sources of revenue or do anything innovative to expand the company. 

But I’m glad that people I once worked with whom I liked and respected and who did good work are still employed there.

Further, the former head of the parent company of our company lost his job. So did hacking away at our department ultimately save his job? No.

And what about all of us who were let go? Don’t we deserve a bit of acknowledgement for our hardships? Some of us have gotten jobs and are doing fairly well. Others are still struggling. One lady had to sell her home. Some were near retirement age and with no hope of getting another job have managed to patch together an income.

So you can understand why when I was told I was let go to save the company I was royally pissed off. That’s hollow comfort to us, or anybody who has been laid off.

I don’t think anyone of us who were let go was treated fairly. We were just unlucky to no longer be of use to our bosses. But as the hoary cliché goes, that is neither here nor there. What is done is done.

Yet I would remind my former bosses that just because you have the right to make staff cuts doesn’t mean that it is the right decision. Are you so sure the people you kept on staff were the best people for those jobs? Or were you simply judging by salary and favoritism?

It was clear the company was struggling financially. But as a long-time employee, maybe I would have liked to be a part of the company’s revival by staying on during the tough times. Instead, I was seen as nothing more than an impediment to the company’s future. I was worthless to them.

And it pains me still to think that other people with less experience in the industry and fewer years at the company were retained while I was kicked to the curb. My self-confidence will never recover from that blow.

It’s easy for those who have never been laid off or whose jobs were saved during massive layoffs to dismiss our feelings as nothing more than bitterness and sour grapes. To them I say, Wait till it happens to you.

And I’d also like to ask them, without any bitterness or resentment:

Do you remember me?