Healing the Wound

I was talking to a friend the other day about some silliness at work (you know what I mean; basically, the boss, being a jerk, criticized me for something I said, which was rather mild. Believe me, I’ve said much, much worse).

What probably upset me, I said, was that it reminded me of my painful layoff. And she replied, “The wound is still there.”

I agreed, and then she said, “You have to heal that wound.”

But how? Putting aside the lingering hurt over my layoff, how can any employee at any company feel secure in their jobs anymore? Companies can and will terminate you at any time for any reason without any foreknowledge or say from you. So it’s not surprising that I, like many other employees, are unnerved by any slight or criticism by someone in upper management decides to throw our way, justified or not. It’s not hard to make the leap to, “Oh, no. Better start cleaning out my desk,” whenever a critical remark is said to us.

Yet I often think a lot of my hurt stems from how my layoff was handled. So much in life depends on how we are treated and how we treat others. Treat others well, and they will respond in kind. Treat them poorly…well, you get my drift.

I understand the basis (or the excuse) for my layoff was economic. The company was downsizing, cutting products and people, my salary was too high, the economy is bad…blah, blah, blah. Yeah, WE GET THAT!

Nevertheless, I was a long-time employee. I spent many years there, loyal to a company that apparently had no loyalty to me. At no time during my forced exit interview did my boss say, “Hey, this was a tough decision for us. We’re sorry to see you go.” Or even, “Thanks for all the hard work you did for us.”

If either one of those statements were said to me, I honestly believe I wouldn’t feel so bitter now.

Instead, it was essentially, you’ve been here too long, you’re making too much money (although I wasn’t the highest paid editor on staff), so pack up your desk and leave. Nice, huh? And what kind of message does that send to other employees? That if they decide to stay with the company for a long period of time, they will get laid off like I was?

Contrast that to my sister’s situation. She knew layoffs were coming, so she took early retirement. She had a say in her fate, and she even got a retirement party.

Me? I got a cardboard box to my pack my stuff in and an offer of a car to drive me home. Yeah, they couldn’t wait to get me out of the office. Why didn’t they shoot me out of a cannon? It would have been faster.

I refused both of their generous offers.

So you can see why I’m still hurt over the layoff and the way it was handled, or bungled in my mind. I understand it’s never an easy task for management to let people go, but where does it say that they cannot treat outgoing employees properly? Is there a rule against thanking laid-off employees for their hard work? You know, treat us like human beings, not outdated office furniture.

My friend summed up my feelings best when she said I was feeling rejected after I got laid off. Yep, that pretty much nails it. That’s never a good feeling, and it’s one that takes a long time to, yes, heal.

My company is still in business. In a sense, our misfortune has enabled their continued success. But do they even remember any of us who were let go to make that possible? No, we’re all forgotten, like deck chairs on the Titanic. Knowing the personalities involved at my former office, I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m routinely badmouthed, if I’m acknowledged at all. In that way, they can justify the nasty way I was treated.

I know that several of my former colleagues have gotten fat raises. Good for them. Yet I wonder, how much money did the company really save in the long run by letting so many people go? Eventually, their workers are going to demand salary increases and at some point, they are going to have to spend money if they want to expand.

While they were busy congratulating themselves on their clever moves to save the company, going to happy hours and parties, and doling out raises, we endured months and months of unemployment in the worse recession since the Great Depression.

What was it all for? Couldn’t they have seen a way to hold onto to us, instead of discarding us like so much trash?

But, hey, who's bitter?