Dear Corporate Fat Cats

Dear Corporate Fat Cats:

I, and so many other unemployed and put-upon workers, owe you an apology. Yes, an apology.

We never realized how hard it is for you to lay off so many workers. I remember the day when my boss had to tell several co-workers that they were being laid off due to budget cuts. He said how draining it was for him to tell those people their jobs were being terminated. Oh, he caught himself soon after and said that, of course, it was tougher on the people losing their jobs. But that was nothing compared to what he had to go through in telling people their employment, paychecks and quite possibly their careers were coming to an end.

So, I now understand how difficult it must be to lay off so many workers so profits can be kept high. Isn’t that why we were laid off, to save the company? How selfish of us to think of ourselves and not the corporation.

Yes, you must keep those profits soaring and not hire any more workers and overwork the ones you already have. How else can you rake in those big bonuses that keep you in million-dollar homes and fancy cars? Without those bonuses, your children won’t go to the expensive private schools and Ivy League colleges that will give them best chance for top-paying jobs someday. Why must they compete against people who went to state schools or—horrors!—a community college? The unfairness of it all!

And the way some in the government treat you is just so unfair. Imagine—they want corporations to pay their fair share of taxes. But how can you pile on the profits when you are asked to pay taxes? And those pesky regulations? Better we should go back to a no-oversight system like we had back in the late 19th century, when there were no unions or safety regulations. Why should workers be protected when there are corporate profits to be made?

But I must say, it’s getting harder and harder for us workers to buy goods and services on our unemployment checks or paychecks that haven’t seen a raise in a year or more. At some point, won’t our inability to purchase cut into your revenues? The workers in the factories you placed overseas to boost profits will stand idle. Corporate profits may shrink.

And I know how hard that will be for you, Mr. Corporate Fat Cat. You have my deepest sympathy.

Sincerely,

The American Worker