Chances Are

The statistic flashed on the screen during the news program for a mere second, but it has haunted me ever since: Those unemployed for more than a year (like myself) face a 9% chance of finding a job. Ever. Again.

Where did that stat come from? According to this story: http://www.theawl.com/2011/01/the-99ers-may-be-the-new-tea-party#more-66962, the Department of Labor.

Yikes! Those are pretty lousy odds of ever finding a job.

Also according to the Department of Labor, 6.4 million, or 44.3%, of the unemployed workforce have been without a job for more than 27 weeks. That’s an awful lot of people that will never work again.

Of course, I don’t know how the government came up with that figure. It’s obviously a composite of all industries. So one’s chances of finding a job may be better, or worse, depending upon the particular field or where you live. What factors, such as age and educational levels, were taken into account?

Any way you look at it, this is not good news for those of us who have been seeking a job for a year or more. It’s also not good news for our country to have so many people unemployed for so long with no hope of getting a job. That will surely strain the social safety net and communal fabric of the United States.

It also got me thinking: Do I have a better chance of something happening to me—good and bad—than getting a job again? (Yeah, I know, I have way too much time on my hands.)

That led me to this website: http://www.funny2.com/odds.htm.

It lists your odds of some pretty amazing things happening to you. Such as:

Odds of getting canonized: 20,000,000 to 1. Well, I was told I was laid off to save the company. Doesn’t that make me a saint?

Odds that a person between the age of 18 and 29 does NOT read a newspaper regularly: 3 to 1. Guess that explains why I don’t have a job.

Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1. At least I won’t have to read those rejection emails anymore.

Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1. Damn!

Odds that a celebrity marriage will last a lifetime: 3 to 1. It’s all about the prenup and publicity anyway.

Chance of dying from a shark attack: 1 in 300,000,000. Would that be the sharks that swim in the ocean or the office sharks that stabbed me in back and made sure I was laid off to save their jobs?

Chance of an American woman developing cancer in her lifetime: 1 in 3. But everyone knows you can’t get cancer if you don’t have health insurance. Right?

Chance of dying in a terrorist attack while visiting a foreign country: 1 in 650,000. Whew! Good thing I don’t have the money to travel.

Chance that Earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next 100 years: 1 in 5,000. Wonder what the unemployment rate will be then.

Chance of me marrying Mark Sanchez: 14,000,000,000 to 1. Hey, a gal can dream can’t she?

Okay, I made that last one up. But check out that website. It will make you smile while trying to find a job you apparently have no chance of getting.