Trying to be Positive in a Negative Time

I was chatting with a good friend a few weeks ago, and of course, the subject of my unemployed status came up. Tedious, I know. I wish it weren’t so.

In essence, she told me to remember that I’m more than any job I do; that I’m a good person whether employed or not. Life is good! Be happy! You’re never fully dressed without a smile!

I nodded in agreement, but what I really wanted to say was, “Oh, yeah, I’ll remember that when I’m homeless and living on the street in my own feces.” No, I didn’t say that to her. She was trying to be nice and meant well, so I didn’t think it was the proper time to be snarky. (And boy oh boy, can I bring on the snark when I want.)

Try as I might and after reading many self-help treatises on staying positive in negative situations, I struggle on a daily basis to overcome the negative emotions brought on by job loss, the second in four years.

Going back to what my friend said: It’s true we should never wrap out entire self-image in our job and paycheck. We’d like to think our family and friends love us because we are good, kind people. And we are, no matter what some pinheaded former boss thinks of us.

Nevertheless, it’s equally true that our self-worth derives at least in part from out ability to use our skills and training to provide for our families and ourselves. When that is taken away from us, the terra firma we thought we stood on is shaken, if not by a full-on earthquake, then by an unsettling tremor. I always took pride in my ability to do a job well and support myself. Not anymore.

It’s easy for me to tell myself that I’ll get a job tomorrow, to be positive and confident; only to get the dreaded “we’ve decided to go with another candidate” email that feels like a sucker-punch to the gut.

Occasionally, I’ll read some plausible advice; like the article that instructed on how to frame difficult situations. For example, before I go to a job interview, instead of thinking, “Oh, I’ll never get hired for this job (yeah, I know),” I should think about how this is an opportunity to get a new job, learn new skills and perfect my job interview skills. I shouldn’t make it an all-or-nothing proposition (I get the job or not), but rather an opportunity. Even if I fail, I will have learned something in the process. I can do that.

I also read much about “living in the now.” Essentially, that means to forget about the painful past, which only makes you depressed, and stop thinking about a hazy future that has yet to materialize. That only makes you anxious. All you have is now, so make the best of it.

I understand that concept, somewhat. Yes, you can take small snippets of joy in daily life, like a leisurely walk on a lovely spring day or laughing when you hear a young boy cutely sassing his mother in the grocery store. But those are mere blips in a life that is overshadowed by stress, rejection and loneliness. In other words, those peaceful “now” moments last only until I do my monthly bills and the reality of my dire financial situation stares back at me.

Please understand that I do not whine incessantly about my jobless status to friends and family. Just the opposite; I rarely talk about it. As the sign says, if I can't be positive all the time, at least I keep my mouth shut and don't talk about my increasingly hopeless life.

When I do, I keep it to a minimum and within a small, select group. Their response is the typical “You’ll find a job. Everything will be fine.” blather. What else can they say? In truth, if the roles were reversed, I would spout the same banal sentiments. Yet every time they repeat those silly platitudes I can almost read their minds and I know what they are thinking: “Phew! Thank God I have a job and I’m not as bad off as her.”

I also think it’s unrealistic to expect me or anyone who has been unemployed for a long stretch to be happy and positive all the time. Why can society at large acknowledge our precarious predicament? Why is that so hard? Instead, we’re treated with scorn and receive no help.

Just yesterday, the priest at my church gave a sermon on how we can’t expect life to always be a bed of roses; that bad things are going to happen no matter what we do or how good we may be. That living in a world were we only seek out the “positive” and completely deny the negative is a false utopia, and what we learn from bad times is resiliency.

In other words, shit happens and you have to deal with it (although Father George didn't use that exact phrase). Yet our society expects, demands, that we be happy at all times, in all circumstances. Utterly ridiculous and quite possibly psychologically damaging.

I agree with most of what the priest said, except the resiliency part. I fail to see how losing job after job, my financial security, and possibly becoming homeless makes me a better person and more resilient. All these nicks and cuts do is damage my soul.

I really don’t see a future right now. Or I don’t try to think too far ahead. But this I know: In mere weeks my unemployment benefits will end and all I’ll have to live on are my meager savings and some puny freelance assignments. How long do you think that is going to support me? I’m working on a Plan B, but it’s nothing solid and I don’t want to discuss it now. (Don’t worry. It’s nothing illegal…yet.)

As for today, I will finish this blog post, eat my lunch and take a walk. Tomorrow, I will send out resumes. I may get a call for a job interview; I may not. I may get another email informing me my candidacy for a particular job will not be pursued. That’s my “now.” What? You were expecting me to jet off to the Amalfi Coast?

I will try to be positive in my negative situation. And if anyone has any advice, I’m open to all suggestions.

The biggest positive boost I can think of? Getting a job!!!!

Out of My Comfort Zone

Contrary to the popular belief of my family, friends and (former) colleagues, I’m not a total stick-in-the-mud. Occasionally I do take risks and venture out of my comfort zone.

Not too long ago I took on a freelance assignment in a completely new field. I don’t want to bore anyone with the details; let’s just say it was more academically inclined than what I have done in the past.

I took on the assignment during a particularly hellish week of four job interviews (none of which I got, thank you very much) and stomach pains that awoke me during the night. It was not the ideal time to undertake a completely new task. But I have to admit, the prospect of making a bit of cash and the opportunity to round out my portfolio was too hard to pass up. I figured I had nothing to lose by giving it a try. Even if I failed (more on that later), I wasn’t going to lose any money.

So I did it. I stepped out of my comfort zone. And it got me thinking about how often people are encouraged to get out of their comfort zone. You see it on those silly self-help motivational posters, usually of someone standing before a forked road or a cliff (kinda scary, don’t you think?).

Like so many trendy catchphrases, “comfort zone” has a different meaning to each individual and is really quite vague when you think about it. To one person, getting out of their comfort zone might be quitting their job and starting their own business. Or bungee jumping. To another person, it might be as simple as trying a new cuisine.

Ah, food…let’s digress here. My favorite is Italian. After having grown up feasting on Italian food, how could it not be? Is there really any other kind of food? But I do like other cuisines. I love Chinese and Greek. I’ve tried and liked Vietnamese and Mexican. Ethiopian? Not so much. Same with Southern barbeque and Thai. And I don’t understand the prevailing foodie sentiment that dictates only when the food scorches your digestive track from tongue to anus are you truly an adventurous eater. I like some heat in my food, but since I was born with a sensitive stomach I can only take so much spice. I’ll try new cuisines, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to like it.

Which leads back to my main point. Why this near dictatorial mandate that everyone must get out of his or her comfort zone? My feeling is that if someone is happy and contented in his or her life, then there is no real need to change. Demanding that everyone get out of their comfort zone is judgmental and shows a singular lack of empathy for other people. People will not change their lives by being hectored into doing so.

Now, if someone is unhappy in their circumstances; they have an unbearable job or are in a bad relationship, eventually they will come to that realization and take the necessary steps to make their lives more aligned with what they truly want. It’s not going to happen because someone else or some empty platitude told them to do so. Anytime I’ve tried to advise people (okay, I butted my nose in their business) on how to possibly change their lives, I’ve usually found them to be defensive and sometimes downright nasty to me in return. So I don’t do it anymore. Better for all involved.

There is also this underlying belief in society that only when you do certain things are you getting out of your comfort zone. Starting a new business is considered getting out of your comfort zone. Relocating to a new city is another. So is leaving a bad relationship. That’s all well and good and I wouldn’t discourage anymore from those endeavors if that is what they truly want to do. Yet those actions predispose some conscious control on the part of the individual. What about things that happen out of our control?

How about when someone is forced out of his or her comfort zone because of the death of a loved one? Or a sudden job loss, or the diagnosis of a serious illness? Isn’t that person getting out of their comfort zone? Yet in those instances, the individual is never given their rightful credit for venturing out of their comfort zone and building a whole new life.

In fact, I sometimes think my life since the end of 2009 has been nothing more than a protracted, grueling exercise in getting out of my comfort zone: job loss; 16 months searching for a new job; found a job and had to learn a whole new industry; lost that job; looking for a new job that if? when? I get it will most likely entail learning a whole new industry and set of tasks. Oh joy! Oh bliss! Yet rather than seeing me as someone who is dealing/has dealt with some rough situations and is trying mightily to find a job and a new path in life, I’m seen as a loser who can’t tie her own shoelaces. That’s really unfair.

People also fail to realize that simply getting out of your comfort zone doesn’t mean it will go as planned. The way I see it, three things can happen when you make a plan: You can succeed spectacularly; you’ll succeed, but not as spectacularly as you hoped; or you will fail miserably.

Spectacular success is never guaranteed, but neither is utter failure. It’s more likely the outcome falls between those two extremes. For that we should be grateful. Instead, we’re unhappy with nothing less than a stunning triumph and we then fall into a familiar pattern of blaming outside forces. The problem, as I see it, may lie with too-high expectations and too little pre-planning.

We further think if we make one big change in our lives (new job, new partner, new city), everything else in our lives will be better. It’ll all be blue skies and sunshine and happy times. Maybe, maybe not. Years ago, the best and most realistic advice I heard came from a co-worker. She had been through a divorce and was asked by a co-worker who was having marital problems about what she should do. Should she split from her husband? “Same problems. Less money,” was her succinct answer. So a bit of perspective is needed, folks. I know that even if I get a job, it won't change the other deficits in my life (although maybe, just maybe I can move to a new apartment and get a Fiat 500).

Yet that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Getting back to that freelance assignment, I did okay. In baseball parlance, I didn’t hit a homerun; more like a bloop single over second base. I did have a difficult time completing the assignment for a variety of reasons, but I’m not going to use that as an excuse. When asked to redo the project, I did so and acted professionally throughout (something, I’m ashamed to admit, I haven’t always done in the past). Because, despite what my former and potential employers might think, I'm a true pro who can get the job done, no matter how difficult, if given the chance.

I don't regret taking the assignment. At a time when my life is overcast with financial strain, uncertainty and repeated rejections, I can take a pinch of pride in trying something new, getting out of my comfort zone, and knowing at least I didn't completely muck it up. That gives me a modicum of confidence to try new things in the future. 

Perhaps the best way to look at getting out of one’s comfort zone is as a learning experience. If it went well, what was it that made it so? How can you replicate that in other facets of your life? If it didn’t go well, where could you have done a better job? All that can only help you in building a better life and making you a better person.

Yet I can certainly understand how habit and fear of the unknown can trap someone in a “comfort zone” that is restrictive and quite possibly destructive. Again, it’s up the person to decide to stay or go, to make a change or not. It’s not going to happen because you or I badgered them into making a life-changing transformation.

So for anyone contemplating a life change, a new job, a new lifestyle, or even trying a new restaurant, I say go for it. Even if it doesn’t turn out as you may have hoped, you will have learned a heck of a lot in the process.

But one thing is for sure: I will never bungee jump.

Shoppin’ With the Oldies

Funny how different life is when you are no longer shackled to the Monday-to-Friday, 9-to-5 grind.

How silent the middle of the day is after workers go off to work (no doubt to be underpaid and mistreated by their employers) and schoolchildren are carted off to school (no doubt to be confounded by eye-rolling, face-palm-inducing Common Core math problems). The only sounds you hear are the bang bang bang of a nearby condo construction project and the church bells that ring at noon. Around 3 p.m., you hear the harrumphing engines of the school buses as they disgorge their charges. In between, it’s complete, unnerving silence.

Yet, being unemployed, I can run errands and shop whenever I choose during the week. I don’t have to wait till the dusk of 6 p.m. or the weekends, when the malls and roads are packed with gainfully employed people who use their sparse free time to shop and run errands.

What have I noticed as I make my own schedule? Well, you can get some pretty sweet parking spaces at the mall. Doctor appointments are pretty easy to arrange, too.

The other phenomenon I’ve noticed? OMG! Holy Depends! There are a lot of old people out there! Where do they all come from?!

I’m not talking spry 60-somethings (who are probably still working to somehow afford a retirement that is increasingly out of reach for them). I’m talking about 80-year-olds with pale, wrinkled parchment skin, teetering on canes or walkers, and sometimes lugging those plastic shopping carts on wheels or even oxygen tanks.

I see them as they sluggishly shuffle from their ozone-busting Buicks to the store; as they clog up the aisles at Sears and Pathmark on their motorized Jazzy chairs. It’s gotten to the point where I pull out from parking spaces oh-so-slowly lest I bump into one of these meandering oldsters. (I think I annoyed one woman at a mall recently when I took too much time to exit the space she wanted. Hey, I have to be careful.)

Please don’t get me wrong. I respect old people. I hope to be one someday. However, with my checkered health history, that’s probably a pipe dream. And I’ll always let them cut in line in front of me. (It’s the right thing to do and you just look bad if you get into an argument with an old person.) I’m just making an observation here, like why do old people wear plaid so much? Did they all go to Catholic school? And please, please, old people, look before you cross the street. I'm a courteous driver (as well as a slow one) so I'll stop for you. Can't promise the same for other drivers.

Yet, given the aversion people over age 62 have to driving at night, I guess it makes sense that these AARP reverse vampires only come out in the daylight. I do see other “types” of people during the weekday daylights hours, such as those who don’t have traditional 9-to-5 hours like medical personnel in their scrubs. Or young mothers pushing babies in strollers. Are they stay-at-home moms, or on maternity leave?

I do sometimes see people of working age during the week, having a lunch, shopping or sipping coffee in Starbucks by themselves. Are they unemployed like me? Or enjoying a rare day off to themselves?

But mostly I see old people. A lot of them. Which makes me wonder: What do you think of me? A person of employable age out in the middle of the afternoon, scarfing down free food at Trader Joe’s?

What must they think of me?

Must’ve Been My Eyebrows

Part of looking for a job is confronting the unpleasant reality of rejection. I’ve come to expect it, and I don’t really get too upset when I lose out on a job. Companies have the right to choose their workers. All we as job seekers can do is actively search for work and put our best foot forward when we are lucky enough to get an interview. As I’ve said before, I’m disappointed when I’m not hired, but never angry. Though it does make continuing to seek work a more daunting endeavor. Sometimes, I hate to admit, I just think, "Oh, why bother going for the interview. They'll just pick someone else."

That's because there are some rejections that sting more than others. A few weeks ago, I went for two interviews for a job I had every qualification the company requested. I even had experience in the industry in which the company operates. Further, I was told several times the hiring manager was “excited” about my background. Both interviews went well (or so I thought). The salary range was set by the company and was well within my requirements. Money was not an issue.

So imagine the slap in the face I felt when I received the email telling me the company was going with two other “stronger” candidates. What the what!?

When I called the recruiter to find out why my candidacy was tossed aside, she was vague and said that “it was nothing negative.” So what went wrong? What made those other candidates stronger?

Again, companies have every right to make their own hiring decisions, which can be, in the words of my old copy chief, arbitrary and capricious, and maddeningly fickle, I might add. We are dealing with humans, remember. It’s very difficult to know why one candidate is chosen over another, and HR people rarely tell a passed-over job seeker where he or she failed. Perhaps they should. It would save us a lot of psychic pain and unfounded ruminations on where we went wrong.

If I wasn’t chosen because I did poorly in the interview, I should know that so I can improve the next time. If I wasn’t chosen because of my age, well, I should know that too so I can make other plans (like what homeless shelter to move to).

I actually considered writing an email to the lady I interviewed with to get a better idea of where I fell short (and offer to do a freelance assignment). However, I thought better of that idea and decided against it (lest I seem like a crazy stalker, even though I fear I’m becoming such).

In truth, the candidate picked over you may or may not be any better or worse than you. Did I have too much experience? Was the company looking for an entry-level person to fill the job? Did my lack of technology skills doom me? Did I unwittingly answer a question incorrectly during the interview? Did I smell bad? I’ll never know.

Nevertheless, the experience reinforced a lesson I should have learned a long time ago: Never, ever get your hopes up for any one job. Because your hopes can be squashed so easily and painfully when you don’t get the job.

As I was speaking to a good friend the other day about this situation, she helped put it into perspective. She said that, in the past, when she or her husband failed to get a job they applied and/or interviewed for, her husband would say, “Oh, well, it must’ve been our eyebrows.”

The point being, there are many reasons why you were not selected for the job, even if you have all the qualifications and experience the company stipulates. Those reasons can range from the concrete (you failed a test; somebody with better experience was chosen) to the absurd (the interviewer may not have liked what you wore that day or the look of your eyebrows).

Despite the rather preposterous requirements companies sometimes demand of job seekers, hiring decisions hinge on the subjective idiosyncrasies of the interviewer. Did she not like my personality? (Too calm and placid?) My character? (Damn those loan-sharking convictions!)

Did I wear a color she didn’t like? (I dress very conservatively. That day, I was wearing black and white.)

Alas, for whatever reason, the woman decided I was not someone she wanted to work with. That’s the painful truth of job rejection.

Or maybe she just didn’t like the look of my eyebrows.

Illusions

A while back I wrote of how different this job search appeared from the last time I was laid off in late 2009, when it took me 16 months to find another job.

And I use the word “appear” deliberately because, as my job search has stretched from a winter of discontent and heaps of snowfall to a chilly, rainy (almost) spring, I’m beginning to think my hope of securing employment within a reasonable time period (six months, say) or even of ever getting a job again are mere illusions. Obviously, I was fooled by being called in for interviews so soon after I started looking for another job. Nothing has changed, really. It's like believing the NY Mets will have a winning season after an above-500 April. (Hey, guys, home plate won't give you cooties.) Pretty soon, it all reverts to the mean, and in my case, that means a long, tedious, rejection-filled job search.

I send out at least two résumés a day. I go on every interview I’m called for; I pursue every opportunity, freelance or full-time, aggressively. Heck, I’ve even ventured to employment agencies, something I vowed I would never do again. Has any of this netted me a job? Nope.

Sometimes the interviews go well, sometimes, they don’t. Sometimes someone is hired with less experience than me, sometimes, with more. There are obvious times when the company hired a recent grad just so they can pay them a meager wage. To be clear, I’m asking for a reasonable salary that is commensurate (and possibly below) my experience. For some firms, that’s fine. Others, not so much: In one instance, when I told the interviewer my salary requirement, he nearly gagged.

After I was laid off in 2009 and spent 16 months out of work, I knew I had to take a pay cut to get another job. And I did...my former job paid me $15,000 less in annual salary than my former former workplace. Even after raises, I was still making $12,000 less than I did at my previous job.

It’s also becoming increasingly obvious that to get work, I may have to take a freelance and/or contract job with no benefits. Or work (again) for a low salary. Oh, and did I mention that in some instances those jobs entail being verbally abused by co-workers and bosses? Nice, huh?

As my quixotic job hunts nears the six-month mark—the mark at which I officially become one of the long-term unemployed, thereby less and less attractive to potential employers—questions and self-doubt seep into my psyche. I wish I were one of those people who think they’re “great” and “awesome.” I can’t, especially when every job rejection is just another reminder of how inept I’ve become. Never something I had in great reserve, my self-confidence is nonexistent. No amount of pep talks and positive thoughts are going to change that, particularly at this time, as I endure yet another long stretch of joblessness. I can barely look at myself in the mirror anymore.

You might be thinking, oh, why doesn’t she take any job? Hey, I would…if I could get a job offer!!! Prevailing sentiment seems to be that unemployed people are pond scum, we must take any job offered, for whatever low salary, and we have no right to basic human dignity. When did employed people become so haughty? Hate to point out that a sudden job loss can happen to any of us.

Am I too old to ever gain full-time employment again? Is my career over? Am I incompetent? I fear the answer to all those questions is yes.

If that is so, what are my options? Do I have any other options? Did I do the right thing...or have I done everything wrong?

For if my career is over, that is something I need to mourn and take time to process. I also have to figure out what my next step will be. That takes time, too.

Do I give up completely? Or do I continue to attempt to jump through the ridiculous hoops employers put us through just to get a job? I've spent days doing take-home tests, only to be told "we've gone with another candidate." Or I get no response at all.

Do I persevere in the face of the discrimination HR people have against laid-off workers? How do I fight the subtle-but-not-so-subtle ageism in hiring practices?

But for now, I have to stop living in an illusion.

Corporate Death Spiral

A few weeks ago, I received an interesting email from a former colleague at my former former workplace. He came across a news story about the possible sale of our former former workplace.

Though from a reputable media outlet, the article was based on “anonymous sources close to the situation.” In other words, this is mere speculation at this point. Who are these sources? What do they have to gain by leaking this information? Who knows if and when the sale will ever take place? I’m not saying the story is untrue. But like alien sightings and George Clooney marriage rumors, I’ll believe it when it actually happens or when I see it for myself.

Nevertheless, this rather flimsy article reminded me of a phenomenon you see quite often in the business world, and one that I have witnessed firsthand. I call it the corporate death spiral.

It goes something like this: A company encounters revenue shortfalls; maybe it even files for bankruptcy protection (as my former company did). They cut staff and product lines. When that fails to boost profits, the CEO is fired. Of course, oftentimes the company never says he or she was fired; just that he or she left to “pursue other interests.” Pursue other interests?! HA! The company fired your sorry butt, now get the heck outta here.

Then, a new CEO is brought in to basically clean up the mess. Think of a mop-up relief pitcher brought in during a blowout loss in the middle innings. He’s not there to win the game that day. His only job is to minimize the damage so the team can fight another day. (Insert NY Mets bullpen joke here.)

That’s not to say the new CEO isn’t an intelligent, experienced executive. No doubt he or she comes in enthused and with great ideas to somehow elevate revenues. Only…sometimes those grand schemes don’t work out and the company is still bleeding cash.

So the new CEO resorts to the familiar tactic of slashing staff and products in a desperate doggy-paddle to save the company, himself and his cronies. When that fails to move the needle, the CEO throws up his arms in disgust and says, “Uncle! Let’s sell the damn thing!”

Remember, about six months before the article about the possible sale of my former former workplace was published, the company cut over 30 employees. At my former workplace, the CEO sent around a cryptic note alluding to rumors about a possible sale of the company. (I didn’t see anything in the press about it.) Soon after, four others and myself were shown the door.

So you see a pattern here. A company in fiscal straits cuts staff/products, brings in a new CEO, cuts more staff and then puts itself up for sale.

It’s similar to when a homeowner decides to sell their house. They paint and spruce up the bathrooms to make it more attractive to potential buyers. In the corporate world, companies slash a third of their workforce. Gah!

All I can do is shake my head in bitter resignation. For all the hyped-up plans that went bust, for all the people they put out of work, for all the lives destroyed, all those companies did was buy a bit of time and temporarily stave off the inevitable, which is the ruination of a once thriving company. What a sad waste of money and talent. Instead of creating a credible blueprint for success, these companies are barely treading water. They might as well have flushed all that money down the drain, along with a lot of good people who may never see a steady paycheck again.

Another example is the retail stalwart JCPenney. About two years ago, it tried a new pricing method to bring in shoppers. When that failed, it brought in a new CEO, who restored its previous sales pricing system. It also announced a slew of store closures. Recent reports have the chain holding its own. But how long will it survive?

Likewise, how long will my two previous workplaces survive? Will a new buyer snatch them up at bargain prices? Will that new owner embark on a program of staff reduction (as they did at my former former workplace)?

What if no buyer is found? Will both companies be shut down, thereby completing the inevitable corporate death spiral?

Stay tuned.

The Stockholm Syndrome of American Workers

In this blog, I try not to divulge too much about individual companies I have interviewed with. I don’t want to get into trouble with any potential employer, so no names will ever be mentioned. It’s only fair.

However, two recent job interviews that I went on recently crystalized two trends I see in today’s workplace: corporate penny-pinching at its most cheesy and transparent as well as the utter contempt upper management displays toward its employees.

The first job was one near my home with a Major Media Company. I mean, a really, really big media company. Again, no name, but if you own a TV or a computer with an Internet connection, you know this company.

Not to go into too much detail, but it was a job I have extensive experience in and could do very well. Yet since it was a “contract” position, I would be paid only an hourly rate but be afforded no benefits like health care or a 401(k).

That’s not the part that upset me. Companies routinely advertise for contract workers. It saves them money in subsidized benefits. And as I’ve been told on several occasions, if a contract worker doesn’t “work out” the company can easily can them.

Now, as someone who has been laid off two times in the past four years, I think I know the system pretty well. How difficult is it to lay off workers? Does it entail extra paperwork? Maybe, but isn’t that what HR people do? Paperwork? We even clean out our own desks.

And as someone who has been given the “we can no longer support your position so pack up and desk and leave” speech twice, I can assure you no HR person broke out in a sweat, nor was any member of upper management harmed in the process. It’s not that hard to do…for the person doing the lay off, that is. For the person being laid off, it’s sucks pretty bad.

In theory, I have no objection to contract work. With Obamacare, I could probably find some affordable health plan in November. Retirement? Well, that’s another story.

But what truly galled me about this job wasn’t the no-benefits aspect. It was the fact that the interviewers informed me that I would routinely be verbally abused by co-workers (and I use that term loosely, we would work in the same office, that’s about it) who apparently make a sport out of demeaning lowly paid contract workers who are merely doing their job.

I’m no stranger to being reamed out by bosses. I’ve worked with bipolar sufferers and raging alcoholics who brought me to tears at times. We all have. No, I don’t like being screamed at, especially if it's for something that is not of my doing. If I've made a mistake, I'll take the consequences. But if I'm doing my job and doing it professionally, I fail to see why I have to endure bad treatment.

I also have a problem with confrontations; I don’t handle them well. I believe that if I act professionally then the people around me should do the same. Am I in the minority?

Again, what I object to most in this particular case is that I would have to endure these regular beat downs for no health insurance!

Seriously, this company has enough revenues to support benefits for all its employees. It’s also a media outlet that has written and posted many articles on how companies are reducing benefits for workers. What hypocrites! Instead of habitually humiliating underlings, perhaps these puffed-up hotshots should take a look into their own house and how well their own company treats all its workers.

I didn’t get the job. I took a test, but I don’t think even if I did well on the test I would have been hired. The minute I stumbled over the question about how I would handle these egotistical buffoons I was toast. (BTW…if part of the job is to be routinely verbally accosted, why not list that in the requirements, rather than blindsiding applicants with a rather appalling scenario? Seriously, if that is part of the job, let applicants know.)

At least the interviewers were polite to me, even after it was apparent they considered me a weak-kneed bubblehead. I can only wish whomever they hired good luck and skin as thick as an elephant’s. They’ll need it, that and a reasonably priced self-funded health plan.

Just today, I had a similar experience. Again, I’ll overlook the fact that the head of the company didn’t seem to have a specific job description for what he wanted other than “to make my life easier.” (Don’t we all want that? Does he want a worker or a wife?)

I’ll even give him a pass on his obvious lack of understanding about how the industry works. Or the fact that he used swear words during the job interview. 

And since it’s a nice spring day I’ll forgive him for the insulting way he told me “at your age, it would be difficult to get a job.” Way to boost my confidence! Like I didn’t know that already?

No, what really upset me and set off screeching red flags in my mind were his references to his volatile temper. (Another man in the office mentioned his bad temper as well.) Great, another workplace bully.

When he did get into specifics about what the duties of this vaguely defined job would be, he rattled off an absurdly extensive list that would kill a hamster on speed. Having worked in the industry for many years, I know no one could do what he wanted at a high enough level to please him or without getting burnt out in six months to a year. All for a salary that is barely a livable wage in this area of the country.

I could take the low wages, but what I cannot take, nor do I think I should have to take, is workplace bullying for that measly salary.

And was his comment about my age and dim job prospects a threat? “No one else will hire you so you have no choice but to take my mistreatment and like it. Got it?”

Is this what the employment landscape has become in this country? A place where harassment by management, low wages and no benefits are the norm? A place where we can be terminated at any time, for any reason?

Are companies taking advantage of workers and job seekers, especially those out of work through no fault of their own? Are they manipulating our desperation to find and keep a job to pay us low wages, slash benefits and treat us badly?

This depressing situation sadly supports the perception that wealthy and famous people in this country believe they have the right to mistreat anyone they see as beneath them. Shameful. But they obviously don't think they are doing anything wrong.

 Am I the fool for believing I’ll ever work again? Do I accept any job, just for the paycheck, even it it means regular degradation?

Just how much abuse in the workplace are we to tolerate before we rebel and take back our voice? Have workers in this country become Stockholm Syndrome victims?