It’s Me Again

Oh, hello there. Been a while. But since more than 22 30 million (and counting) people are now unemployed, I figured it was a good time to re-up my blog on being jobless. As someone who’s been laid off twice — yeah, twice — I have some wisdom to share.

So, what’s been up with me lo these past three years? Well, the news isn’t good. I’ve been freelancing, and with that comes the typical ups and downs in jobs and incomes. So far, I’ve survived, but for how much longer?

Then, two years ago my landlord decided to sell the three-family home in which I rented an apartment. The house was sold and I was evicted. Let me tell you, finding an apartment without a steady, full-time job ain’t fun. It can be downright soul crushing.

I understand landlords are wary of renting to a freelancer, and I had people tell me upfront they wouldn’t rent to me based on my income. I expected that reaction, but when it’s said to your face, it can really gut your self-confidence.

I was upset about losing my home, as anyone would be. But when I told my sister and my best friend about my predicament, they pretty much said (and I’m summarizing here): Tough luck, this is what you get for renting; I’m not helping you (even though I never asked for help; I was simply venting about an upsetting situation). Their attitudes were, to quote Rhett Butler, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Nice ...kick me when I’m down why doncha? It’s like I’ve always known — people don’t care about your problems, they only care about their own. 

But by a stroke of a luck and the help of a very nice realtor lady, I found a nice apartment to rent. It’s a small studio, but it’s perfect for my needs. Homelessness averted — for now.

That’s not the end of it, unfortunately. Just when I thought things were calming down and going my way, I fell seriously ill, went to the hospital for a 10-day stay (still paying off that bill), and was diagnosed with a serious illness that will likely need more treatment in the near future. For the past two years, I’ve alternated between periods of feeling healthy and feeling lousy, and I never know when my health will crash or stay normal.

 And as expected, I’ve lost work because of it. Oh, well…(By the way, the illness isn’t the one you’re probably thinking it is, but I don’t want to go into details. The only good thing to come from this horrible mess is I’m 25 pounds lighter.)

Then, the coronavirus pandemic hit, and the part-time job that was pretty much the only thing keeping me barely afloat financially, slashed my weekly assignments. Not their fault at all. I don’t blame them. Who knew this virus would be so horrific? It was not like the other two times I was laid off because upper management were either blithering idiots or back-stabbing bastards and bitches. Now, my current employers may be jerks, but since I work remotely, I don’t see it close up (and that makes my work life so much better — or did).

Because I’m technically still working for them (albeit with a severe cut in weekly assignments), I likely don’t qualify for unemployment. I almost wish they would lay me off so I would qualify for unemployment benefits, although that would make a three-time layoff loser. A trifecta I don’t want to hit.

Well, enough about my shitty luck. You’re probably feeling depressed and angry right now, and worried about how the heck you’re going to find a job when so many businesses are shuttered. That’s normal. Sure, friends and family are telling you to cheer up, everything will work out. But when? You’ll get another job, they say. Really? Now? Are they brain dead?

You have every right to feel shitty right now, despite what everyone says. Don’t let them tell you anything different. Most people don’t want to hear anything negative, even if, well, things suck big time.

But I would also caution you to be very careful about who you vent to. I know your fist instinct is to rush onto social media and advertise your plight — don’t! As my experience with telling my sister and friend about my eviction showed, people can be assholes. Not everyone has the empathy gene. The worse thing that can happen is to tell someone about your situation and get a slap in the face in return. You know those who would be sympathetic — and those who couldn’t care less. Reach out to the kind hearts and steer clear of the douchebags.

Yet even then, be circumspect in what you say. Don’t tell them everything or how you’re really feeling. Honestly, they don’t give a shit, so why bother. Hate to the be the bearer of bad news, but there are likely some friends and family who would be secretly happy to see you fail. (I know of one former “frenemy” who if she learned of my situation would be dancing for joy. Think I’m being harsh? You don’t know this narcissistic, condescending bitch the way I do. Like the saying goes, people eventually show you who they really are.)

Cynical? Too negative? Yeah, I agree. Maybe it’s because the eviction/serious illness/loss of income tsunami has me in a major funk. I feel like a punch-drunk boxer who’s absorbed so many body blows that it doesn’t hurt anymore. I’m numb, actually. 

But here’s some practical advice: File for unemployment. I know it’s like pulling a shark’s tooth to get through to the unemployment office, but keep trying. You need that money.

As for health insurance, you could sign up for COBRA. But you may also be able to sign up for Obamacare. Check with your state. From my experience, you’ll get lower premiums from Obamacare than COBRA. I recall that if you were laid off, you could switch to Obamacare from COBRA without waiting for the open enrollment period. That may not be the case anymore, but it’s worth checking out.

Oh, and take a shower every morning. Just because you’re an unemployed loser like me doesn’t mean you can’t practice good personal hygiene. It will make you feel better. Trust me.

What’s so anxiety provoking about this downturn is there is no way to know when it will end and life gets back to normal. We have no idea when the hurricane will past and clear skies appear. Not that I believe in good things ever happening again. Oh, sorry I’m being negative again. Mustn’t do that and ruin your no doubt already lousy day.