The Right to Say No

A few weeks ago, I declined two freelance jobs.

Granted, these jobs were low-paying and just so you don’t think I was being a lazy bum, I was juggling several other freelance assignments at the time. I honestly could not take on

more assignments. Still can’t, at least not now.

Nevertheless, saying no was a major step for me. When I first started on this freelance journey, I said yes to every assignment, only to find myself working seven days a week with no social life (nonexistent as it is) and getting stressed out. I soon realized that is no way to live, no matter how much I needed the money. I wasn’t doing myself any favors, nor would I be an asset to the companies if I turned in sloppy work or missed a deadline because I was frazzled or doing too much at the same time.

So I thought hard and long, and said no, which is never easy for me. I was raised to be a “good girl,” to do everything everybody wanted, expected and asked of me, whether family, friends or bosses. I believed if I said “yes” to everything, acted nice, and worked really, really hard, people would like me and I wouldn’t get laid off.

How’d that work out for me, eh? I’ve been laid off twice and repeatedly stabbed in the back by work colleagues.

Now, with the perspective of age and two painful layoffs, I realize I do have the right to say no, to pick where and with whom I work and for what compensation.

Companies possess the right to hire, fire and lay off workers with no explanation given. What they fail to realize is that workers have the same right to choose their workplace.

I understand the needs of companies change over time, and staffing levels reflect that. (Yeah, two layoffs in four years kinda taught me that.) Going back to those freelance jobs I declined, in one instance, after submitting several assignments to the company, I was told they had enough and wouldn’t require my services anymore. In the other, the company was undergoing a reorganization of their freelance staff, so I had no way of knowing I would be retained. (Reorganization is a code word for “layoffs.”)

Again, I wasn’t upset. Freelancing is inherently unstable, and companies remain free to cast off workers without any explanation.

But it’s also true that I have rent and bills to pay. I simply moved on to other paying jobs. The heck with them.

So I was a bit surprised when I was asked if I wanted to work for them again. I politely told both that I could not because I had other freelance assignment on my desk. One lady understood and said to contact her when I was free to do assignments for her. I might. The other guy never responded to my email.

I was also a bit amused by their requests. Didn’t it occur to them I took other assignments? Just as they rejected me, don’t I have the same right to decline their offer — or take another job?

Our society has, I believe, a rather warped perception of laid-off workers. We’re considered unemployable losers — even though we did nothing to merit our termination. We must take any job offered, without any consideration to whether we want the job or not. 

Contrast to that to someone who quits their job with no new job lined up to “find themselves.” They’re considered brave — they stuck it to the corporation and are viewed as free spirits — even though they may have made a really bad decision. Leaving a job with no job in hand is never justified unless you are being harassed or the job is severely impacting your health and wellbeing. Merely being unhappy at work or believing the job is beneath you is never a good reason to quit without simultaneously landing your next  — hopefully better — job.  

Likewise, someone who is fired gets sympathy, yet their firing may have been perfectly justified by poor work performance or some stupid or unethical action on their part.

No so with laid-off workers. Tossed aside by corporate cost cutting, our futures decided in some closed-door meeting of the All White Males Club, and perpetually rejected by prejudiced HR departments, we sometimes feel as if we have no free will at all.

Saying no returns some free will and yes, power to us laid-off workers. At least for one brief moment we don’t feel like Miss Colombia, the Fredo of beauty contestants.

Of course, there may come a time when my financial situation dictates I must take whatever lousy job offered. I haven’t reached that point. Yet. I'm self-aware enough to admit to my folly.

I simply don’t buy the belief I have no free will. I have the right to decide with whom I want to work — jerks need not apply. Just as companies low-ball workers on salaries, I’ll grab the highest paying jobs.

And I have the right to say no.