OK, you’ve just been laid off. Now what? What do you do?
Where to begin? What’s my first move? Can I assault my former bosses? (Um,
no.)
Being this is my second time spit out by the corporate
moneymaking machinery, I think I’ve got a pretty good handle on what it feels
like to be laid off and what your next steps should (and shouldn’t) be. Surely I'm a better advice expert than some bogus career coach (how can someone who is self-employed tell others how to get a job!) or some pinhead financial writer who has never had to worry about finding work because Daddy's big bucks got them into an Ivy League college and a ticket to any job they want.
What I’m talking about here is what to do in the immediate
aftermath of a layoff, the days and weeks following your involuntary heave-ho.
Please take this in the spirit of helpful advice from someone who has been
there…twice.
Here it goes:
Get out of bed. That
first morning after you’ve been laid off is, quite honesty, awful. Overwhelmed by financial worry and the shock of it all, you don’t
want to get out of bed, you want to stay under that warm comforter (never was
an article of bedding named more appropriately), swathed in your fluffy robe,
never to see the world again. Because if you stay under the covers, nobody can
hurt you, nobody can take your job, your livelihood away from you, the guy you
like can’t reject you for the pretty blonde (OK, that was TMI. Sorry.).
Unfortunately, at some point, you must get out of bed and
face the task at hand, however dreadful a prospect that is.
Take a shower. As
traumatic as losing a job can be, it’s no excuse for forgoing basic hygiene.
Get out of bed, take a shower, and you will feel a bit better.
Apply for unemployment.
Applying for unemployment is not easy. It’s a bureaucracy, one that is designed
to frustrate applicants. Try to apply for unemployment online. I dare you. So expect delays. It took me three days to actually
talk to a live human being, and I still have to go through some silly telephone
interview to determine my benefit base (or if I qualify at all). Bottom line: I
probably won’t see any money until the second week in February. That’s just
great.
So frustrating is the unemployment grinder, I actually
considered not applying. But my landlord would have something to say about
that.
Ignore the delays and the bureaucratic smack-downs. Persist
and get those unemployment bucks (which will never be as much as you made
weekly). You’re entitled to it and you deserve it, at
least temporarily.
Tell a small circle of friends and family at first. I really haven’t told too many people about my
layoff so far. I haven’t announced it on any social media outlet just yet. And
for good reason.
It’s not because most people are unsympathetic. On the
contrary, I’ve gotten the typical “sorry to hear that” reaction from the
majority of people I’ve told.
What you’ll find, though, is a range of responses, from the
rather flippant, uncaring “Hey, it happens” comment from a former co-worker to
the nice lady downstairs who offered to get me food. In all likelihood, you
will encounter someone who has absolutely no empathy and that can be devastating.
All it takes is one nasty, offhand remark to set you off into a tailspin of
negative thoughts. And I don’t even want to think about those “frenemies” who
would take pleasure in my misfortune.
Therefore, I recommend telling only a small, select group of
people of your job loss at first. When the time is right to widen that circle,
you will know it. Doing it before you are ready is unwise.
Take your time making decisions. After you’ve been laid off, you are a cauldron of
emotions — anger, hurt, anxiety, fear, sadness, disgust, shame, to name a few — all
careening inside you at Formula One speed. So it’s probably not the best time
to jump blindly and thoughtlessly into any major life-alternating decision or
even to read over the termination agreement letter you were indifferently sent
home with.
Now, I’m not saying stay in bed and do nothing for six
months. But I will tell you this: you have an afternoon, a week,
to process your job loss. To calm down, read over the termination agreement
letter, weigh your options, before you navigate your future path, whatever that
might be.
Spontaneity is a good thing, I agree. However, in this
instance, with so many negative feels coursing through your mind, it’s better to
wait a bit and give yourself time to come to terms with the blow you’ve been
unfairly dealt.
Having been through this deflating situation twice now, I
can tell you that there is no decision so horrible that it cannot be undone
with a little backtracking or minor tweaking. Chances are you will make good
choices.
It’s OK to feel bad.
Our society puts too much pressure on people to be happy and positive at all
times. It’s to the point where one cannot express one iota of unhappiness or
displeasure over some unforeseen circumstance without being labeled “negative.”
Put on that smiley face even when you’ve been dumped or lost your job! Your
career and financial future is thrown in doubt and you're supposed to be happy?!
For the sake of the other person?! That’s ridiculous.
Further, it’s unrealistic and damaging to someone who has
just undergone a truly cataclysmic experience. You need to express your hurt
and sadness. Papering over your wound with ridiculous statements like, “I’m
really positive about getting a job in the next week,” won’t make the hurt go away.
Until, that is, you rightly feel more positive about your situation.
It’s also natural to feel out of sorts. Overnight, you’ve
gone from hectic 8-10 hour workdays to…what? Your sleep patterns and body
rhythms are out of synch in the first days/weeks following your job loss. It takes
time to get your body and mind adjusted to your new reality. Give yourself that
time.
Your self-esteem has taken a body blow as well. It’s natural
to wonder if you simply weren’t good enough to keep employed. So many
factors go into who gets laid off and who stays that it’s impossible to ever
know the real reason behind your termination. Seeing former colleagues get
engaged, sell their indie screenplays or buy homes doesn’t help you feel any
better about yourself either. Avoid watching those narcissistic, self-adulating (I would use another adverb, but I want to keep this blog PG), fiddle-while-Rome-is-burning, sickeningly gaudy Hollywood award orgies, too. Their sole purpose is to make the "little people" feel inferior. Disgusting.
Since this is something I still struggle with from my first
layoff, I don’t know what the solution is; I don’t know what will you make you
feel better about yourself or more self confident.
Perhaps the only solution is simply not to dwell on it too
much. I’ve found that when I start thinking about my former former workplace
and my former workplace, I ask myself this: “Do you think your former bosses
are thinking about you? Do you think
they care about you anymore?” The
answer is no. It puts things in perspective, and reminds me I should not care
about people who treated me so carelessly.
If no one else will, I’m giving you permission to feel bad
about your layoff. I don’t believe being positive means ignoring the bad stuff.
It means carrying on despite the negativity in your life. That said…
It does not mean
constantly complaining about your layoff to friends and relatives. For two
reasons: No one wants to be around a Debbie Downer 24/7 and most people only
care about themselves anyway. So I would definitely limit my whining to small
time slots. Ask how the other person is doing. Don’t monopolize the
conversation with your bad news. Say something like, “OK, enough about me.
What’s new with you?”
Or better yet, join a support group for other unemployed
workers. I’m considering it.
It’s OK to say, “I don’t know.” After you’ve been laid off, well-meaning friends
and relatives tend to bombard you with advice about what you should and
shouldn’t do. Some of their suggestions may be good; others, not so much. (Yes,
you can ignore whatever I write here. I won’t mind.)
Again, they mean well, but their advice likely comes from
their own experience and fears, and perhaps even a need to control another
person. It has nothing to do with you, your circumstance, or what you want to
do. If you try to please other people all the time, you will never succeed in
anything, least of all pleasing that other person.
Here’s a great example from my own life: After I got out of
college I had a hard time finding a job. Not an unusual circumstance for most
recent grads. Instead of giving me practical help or gentle encouragement, my
mother and my bossy older sister screeched at me routinely to “FIND A JOB!” In
fact, my older sister, who worked for the phone company, hectored me into taking
the test to join the phone company. I did, and failed the test, naturally. It
wasn’t what I wanted to do, so it was doomed to failure. Eventually, I did find
my own way, without their help.
Whatever you do in life must come from your own desires and
efforts, not someone else’s. So if someone barrages you with questions about
what you are going to do, be polite but firm. Tell them, honestly, that you
have applied for unemployment and are redoing your résumé. Other than that,
it’s OK to say you don’t know what your next step will be or what the future
holds for you.
Because, really, does anyone know what the future holds? Did
you think you’d be laid off a week before you were? Any talk of what you will
be doing six months or a year from now is simply foolish. After being laid off
twice in a little over four years, I believe I’m perfectly right in questioning
whether I want or should return to the 9 to 5 grind. It certainly hasn’t served
me well in recent years, has it? What good is gainful, full-time employment when your employer can dump you at any time with no warning or through no fault on your part?
Should I work part-time, freelance? Or take the plunge into a new field altogether? I don't have an answer yet.
Should I work part-time, freelance? Or take the plunge into a new field altogether? I don't have an answer yet.
I wish, dear fellow unemployed workers, that I could tell
you that you will have another job in a week, at a higher salary than what you
were making at your previous job. Having been through the layoff mill twice
now, I know that is unrealistic. But I can tell you this…
Keep moving. You cannot
accomplish everything in a day. In our want-it-now society, that is somehow
unacceptable. How unrealistic can you get! It can also lead to some pretty bad
decisions and disastrous outcomes.
Unemployment takes days to file; getting a résumé redone competently takes
at least a week. Deciding your future doesn’t have to be done overnight.
But if you try to do a little something each day (start the
unemployment application, jot down your thoughts for a new résumé, etc.), you
will look back and realize you accomplished more than you thought you had.
The point is to keep moving, even slowly. That starts by
getting out bed and taking a shower, and…
Take a hike. Or
walk. Luckily, I live in a town that has a lovely walkway along a river. It’s a
great place to take a brief stroll. Being in the fresh air clears your mind and
at the very least, gets you away from the computer screen and the bad news and
constant reminders of your situation. So I would definitely recommend a daily
walk when possible. It couldn’t hurt.
Stick to your previous routine. Though your entire life has been thrown off-kilter, try to hew to
your previous “normal” routine as much as possible. Just because you don’t have
to arise before the sun doesn’t mean you can’t keep exercising in the morning.
If you shop for food on Fridays, stick to that schedule. Anything you can do
that makes you feel like your “normal,” employed self helps. Trust me.
There you have it. I hope some of my pointers can help other
unemployed workers along their path. Now, it’s time for me to have some lunch
and take a walk.
But before I do, I have this parting shot to all those who employed me before:
