What Goes Around….

Heard some interesting news last week. My former workplace, the same sweat shop that thought my salary was dragging down the entire company, has undertaken yet another round of layoffs.

Caught in the web of underhanded corporate cost cutting in my former department (that I know of for sure): the d-bag editor who terminated my job; one marketing guy; another web-focused editor who didn’t do much; and a secretary. The parent company also cut another 35 positions.

Now, you may be thinking that when I first heard of this I would be jumping for joy. I did not. Honestly, I didn’t feel anything either way. I wasn’t pleased by the news, nor was I particularly saddened by it either. It certainly doesn't change what I and others went through when we were laid off so cavalierly.

My first thought was this: What goes around comes around. More on that later, but let’s discuss two of the players in this pointless drama.

Yes, the one editor was a total douchebag, who systematically and cunningly laid off any and all people who he felt threatened his seniority or job. He was also the one who told us that none of us had job security. Wonder how he feels about that now, now that he is the one out of a job.

Still…he had been with the company for over 25 years. Personal feelings aside, it’s a sad commentary on how companies now treat their long-term employees that someone with his seniority was let go. How is someone of his age (either he has reached 60 or is very near it) going to find another full-time gig? Surely he envisioned – and probably deserved – a much different exit from the workplace than, “pack up your desk and leave.” So for him, I can reserve a bit of sympathy and well wishes.

Not so for the web-focused editor, a lazy fuck. How he managed to stay on so long by doing so little amazes me. How I was first alerted to the layoffs was when he started posting self-pitying comments on Facebook about his first and second and third day of unemployment.

Oh, sure, when everyone else was being laid off, he barely took notice. He sat at his desk, staring at the computer, oblivious to the emotional devastation around him. He didn’t care at all. Oh, but when it happened it him, he’s all wah wah wah. Tell it to the Marines!

He was also the one who sat in on a meeting and argued that a co-worker’s job should be saved during the same round of layoff during which I was chucked to the unemployment rolls. Why did he do this? Because he wanted to spare his friend from being jobless? No, he thought if this guy were let go, he would have to do more work!!!! Un – freaking – believable!!! If he had it done to help a friend, I would have more respect for him. But he did it out of pure self-interest and laziness. Well, now he has his wish. I think he is probably terrified at the possibility of having to go out and find a job and actually having to do, you know, real work. I have no sympathy for him. The gravy train doesn’t stop there anymore for you, bub…

But what was even more ludicrous was reading the explanations behind the layoffs from the executives at the parent company. There was the usual spin about how this was going to make the company a leaner, more nimble company (that’s what they all say), how they were  oh so saddened by having to let so many employees go (spare me); and the one that always makes me wanna vomit: the company is doing well and the board is behind their vision for the firm.

AAARRGGGGG!!! Gag me with a spoon! Seriously, I don’t know what is worse: that they themselves believe these bold-faced lies or that they expect anyone to believe such bullcrap. Like Teresa from The Real Housewives of New Jersey (more on that in a future post) would say, "They are lying through their tooths."

First, companies that are doing well financially do not see the need to lay off 40-60 employees at a pop. And this is at a rather smallish (800 employees) company. I understand the need to make the company more efficient, streamline operations and maneuver the company to meet shifting priorities and market realities. But obviously, this is being done to cut costs, pure and simple.

And if you are saddened by letting so many workers go, well, then don’t. Again, there is no other reason for doing it except to cut expenses at a foundering company. I heard through the grapevine that when the head of the division -- a thoroughly odious drunk – had to let go of the long-term editor, he cried. Well, if he did, they were of the crocodile variety. Those two hated each other and were frequently at each other’s throats. If he did cry, it was because he lost one of his favorite whipping posts. He’ll get over it at the nearest bar.

And if he does feel bad, then, well, maybe he should, considering the deplorable way he has treated people. And I'm not just talking about the scores of people he has laid off to save himself and his cronies, but his abusive behavior toward co-workers and underlings. He is a workplace bully and serial harasser. Perhaps what's he sad about is that he has one fewer person to torture.

And whenever I read a line about how the board is behind the company’s strategy, I think of baseball managers who get a “vote of confidence” by ownership two weeks before they are fired.

This parent company is obviously in bad shape and has been for a while. They have undertaken mergers and de-mergers, a new CEO, and repeated rounds of layoffs for nearly a decade. Yet, according to published reports, they are still cutting staff and are operating with a debt load of over a quarter of a billion dollars. Does anyone in their right mind think that cutting an editor here and a secretary there is going to bring down a debt tally that would make A-Rod’s contract look like a bill at five and dime store?

Yes, they could sell, as some commentators noted, but who would buy a company that can’t seem to get its act together? So it’s doubtful this company will be in business much longer.

Oh, how I wish, just once, a company would be honest and write a press release something like this:

“Yes, we a cut a third of our workforce, because frankly our revenues suck and we have no clue as to how to increase them. So we took the easy way out: cut a lot of workers. It may not make the company profitable, but who cares? It looks like we’re doing something. Upper management was spared so we can keep our bloated salaries. If the company sells, so what? We get a fat check.  Hey, we’re only here because daddy’s bucks got us into good schools where we could parlay our connections and meaningless credentials into high-level executives positions. Did you really expect us to come up with innovations? Do real work? Get real. Oh, and by the way, we don’t want any more regulations. Bye…happy hour is calling.”

Yeah, right, that will never happen. But back to my original thought: Would I feel bad if my former company did go under? I don’t mind admitting that when I was first let go, I wanted to see the entire company crash and burn. But then I thought better of that. If that were to come to pass, then people I once worked with who were good, honest and hardworking employees would lose their jobs. I didn’t want to see that.

Again, I wonder if all the turmoil they caused was worth it. I mean, I was told I was laid off to "save the company." Yet the company is still laying off people and is obviously in financial trouble.  So I guess my ginormous salary really wasn't dragging down the company. 

Now, if the nasty booze hound who heads the division I worked for lost his job, or the pill-popping drunken whore who made sure I got laid off so she would have no threat to her job, if they lost their jobs, I would do a happy dance in my underpants. Alas, once again, they have managed to save themselves from the ax. For now, anyway.

Will I contact any of them? Should I contact them? I don't think I will. I've been gone so long they probably have long forgotten me. (Two former co-workers de-friended me on Facebook!?) It's an emotional time for them. My expressions of sympathy might be misinterpreted as gloating. Better to keep my distance.

Yet, I cannot feel too sorry for them. I know for a fact these very same people (except the secretary) sat in secretive, Tammany Hall-style meeting and decided who stayed and who went during previous rounds of layoffs. I do not believe that you can repeatedly engage in that kind of Machiavellian, back-stabbing behavior yet somehow believe it is not going to come back to you. It will. At some point, it becomes like a circular firing squad.

Because what goes around comes around. 

Curb My Enthusiasm

Way back when, when I was in junior high school and high school, we would be made to endure what were called “pep rallies.” Not sure if schools sponsor these annoying spectacles anymore. They shouldn’t.

For these pep rallies, the students would be herded in an auditorium to watch the cheerleaders cheer and be told we didn’t have enough school spirit. During one particularly dreary conclave, a mousy member of the student council who came from a good family and was going to a good school (you know the type) stood at the podium and told us, “I’m your school spirit and I’m dying!” Ug! I kid you not. Sadly, no such speech would be made in a school today.

Even to my young, not-yet-fully-formed cynical mind, I thought these assemblies were ridiculous. How did they know we didn’t have school spirit? On what criteria were we being judged? We didn’t attend enough sporting events? (The few times I went to a football game, the stands were full.) That we were apathetic and sullen? (Um, it’s called being a teenager.) I could never understand why we were subjected to this. As long as we went to school and were reasonably well behaved (we were), why were we being berated that we didn’t have school spirit? As if that were so important. Wouldn’t we be better off learning something, like math or English? Sure, the cheerleaders were peppy, but that’s their job. The rest of us? Not so much.

For an unpopular bottom feeder like me, mocked by classmates, ignored by teachers, I couldn’t wait to get out of that building everyday (so I could go home to my equally indifferent family). So maybe you can understand why these pep rallies were particularly painful for me.

I often think of these high school pep rallies whenever I get an email at work from upper management telling us how the new direction the company is going in is oh-so wonderful (of course, they bury the lead in the fourth graph when they admit about a half dozen people lost their jobs) or whenever I hear a CEO tell us how important their workers are to the company.

As my late Italian-American mother would say, bull throw. I don’t believe a word of it, not a word. Like those meaningless pep rallies, all those empty platitudes do is curb my enthusiasm and make me wanna run and hurl.

Yet we’re expected to peppy and enthusiastic about our work when it’s pretty clear to us that upper management will get rid of us in a hurry to save themselves and their drinking buds. (To be fair, the All White Males Club at my workplace did decide recently not to jettison our department. For now.)

We’re given double workloads, crappy health plans, no or miniscule raises and bad treatment, yet we’re expected to show enthusiasm for our jobs. The deck is stacked against us. The system only works for CEOs and upper management.

At my former workplace, they had a list of core values. One was respect for their workers and how workers were the company’s most valued resource. Ha! The former CEO pretty much gutted our division and made the head of our department (a drunken idiot) cut dozens of staffers.

And it’s not as if we have any recourse. Go to HR? What a joke! HR’s only job is to protect the company and that means upper management, not the lowly cubicle dwellers. (Again, to be fair, if you have a problem with your health care plan, I’ve found most HR people to be helpful.)

One lady I work with now told me her supervisor routinely criticized her work and told her she was fat. Now, if there was a problem with her work or office behavior that should be addressed. However, she won an industry award for her work, so how bad could she have been? No worker should have personal insults hurled at him or her. That’s workplace harassment. To me, she seems like a perfectly nice woman, not a high-strung nutcase. So what was the problem?

When she complained to HR, she was told that it wasn’t their problem and that she had to work it out with her supervisor. Yeah, right. She was eventually laid off.

So you get my drift here. If companies choose to treat their workers like pieces of crap and eliminate jobs by the hundreds, that’s their prerogative. They cannot, however, expect loyalty or enthusiasm in return from workers.

Saved. For. Now.

Well, folks, I still have a job and will have one for at least the foreseeable future.

Yes, there were discussions about the “future of” my department. However, at this time, the plan is to tweak our mission, so to speak. And our department is on the company budget for 2014.

Even more to the good, I got a raise. Three percent, but I’ll take it. I was not looking forward to going on unemployment again. Ug! I hated that.

Still…

After being laid off myself and seeing so many good colleagues shown the door, I know circumstances can change and change overnight. If the economy nosedives or the All White Males Club decides to hack away at our department, they will do so with not a care to what they are doing to other people’s lives. That is the same as what it was six months ago and what it will be six months from now. No one has job security (except the managers who tell you that no one has any job security. They always seem to save themselves.). Once the "future of" discussions start, it's usually an eventual slippery slope to oblivion.

I do feel a bit foolish, but I wasn't completely wrong (or paranoid). They definitely were discussing the "future of" my department, and that could have meant anything. 

So in many ways, this is simply a temporary reprieve. At the very least, it gives me time to get a new resume together and pay off more debt. (Now if the NY Mets could only get a power-hitting outfielder my life would be just about perfect.)

To be fair, I understand that the CEO is doing what he’s supposed to do. Looking for ways to cut costs and expand the company in new directions is his job. It’s just unfortunate that his job sometimes means other people will lose theirs.

The best we as workers can hope for is that he or any CEO does so in a thoughtful and deliberate fashion, not in a panic while figuring out how to save themselves and their lapdogs in a bar during happy hour. (No lie, that was pretty much what happened at my previous workplace. The top three-four managers were all alcoholics. Never work for drunks…you will never win.)

But for now, I have a job and for that I’m thankful. Time to bring back my office coffee cup.

PTLD

I’ve discovered a new psychiatric condition. It’s called Post Traumatic Layoff Disorder, PTLD for short. Perhaps the American Psychiatric Association or whoever classifies these things should look into it. Considering the masses of workers who have been laid off since 2009, I’m sure I’m not the only one who is suffering from PTLD.

I got the idea for this when I was talking to a friend about my recent apprehension about losing my job. She mentioned that it could be due to my previous layoff, similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Now before you start to howl that I’m being self-absorbed and silly (and you’d be right), I am not comparing PTLD to what soldiers go through when they come home from war, or what an accident victim feels after their trauma. What I am saying, is that anyone who has gone through a traumatic event, and losing one’s job for no good reason qualifies, is bound to be hypersensitive to the signs their job is in jeopardy.

You know, like when you hear two douchebag executives talk loudly about the “future of” your department. Then have an all-afternoon meeting on that topic.

Or when your new CEO has embarked on steady and systematic program of staff cuts and outsourcing. Or when you read an email about “budget cuts from on high.”

So, no, I don’t think I’m being paranoid or crazy (well, not completely). Putting all those elements together, I think it’s quite logical to assume the future of my division is being, at the very least, discussed and that a shutdown is certainly one possibility.

I even read an article recently that noted that people who are laid off from one job are highly susceptible to being laid off again. Something to do with being the last one hired, first one fired when companies make cutbacks. Also, the article speculates, workers who have been laid off are so desperate to find work they will take the first job that comes along, without really thinking if they are suited for it. That leaves them even more vulnerable to a layoff.

Now, it’s possible nothing will happen in my case. It’s possible the All White Males Club has tabled any discussion for a future date, leaving me in limbo for the foreseeable future.

So what can I do? Well, I’m trying to stay positive, or at least not be grumpy and negative to the people around me. I remain conscientious and committed to doing good work, even though I know that will not save my job.

I can only hope that my current bosses will not torture me for two months like my previous bosses did. That was heartless and unnecessary. They knew they were laying me off, why heap gratuitous cruelty on me in the meantime?

Yes, I can reach out to some contacts about the possibility of getting another job. But that’s a tricky endeavor.  Will there be a job waiting for me? Will they help at all? Or will they simply dismiss me with the typical, “Sorry, but good luck.”

Should I start clearing out my desk now? Ask if my job is being eliminated? Continue to wait and worry?

So dear readers, what do you think I should do?

Limbo

Still in limbo land.

Nothing to report on the job front. Today, I felt optimistic. Tomorrow, I may be kicked to the curb and depressed. Who knows?

It’s a day-to-day thing. Good one day, down the next. And it can turn on dime. You’d be shocked how fast you can go from a valued employee to invisible.

And I’m not sure there is any answer. In fairness, no manager is going to tell an employee he or she is going to be laid off until the day it happens. We might steal company secrets or raid the office supply closet (hmmmm….).

To be honest, even if I do keep this job, I’m not sure I want to stay. I’ve been through these successive rounds of company layoffs and restructurings. Eventually, it’s going to impact me. I’m nothing special. It would be naïve to think otherwise. Time to update the old resume. Jump before I'm pushed.

And I’m sick of trying to read the office tea leaves. All it does is give me stomach pains. Oh, the big boss said hello to me! I’m safe! Another boss complimented my work! I won’t be laid off! It doesn’t mean anything. Tomorrow, those same people could can me without an ounce of regret.

Then I think how the last time I was laid off, I went for root canal work at the dentist the night before. Just like I am tomorrow. Gulp! I’m a goner. (Yeah, I know that’s superstitious. But hey, I’m Italian. We’re superstitious people.)

So what can we do?

We wait, we worry and try to do the best we can. Living in limbo…

Again

Well, dear readers (all three of you…I sometimes wonder if more people show up for NY Mets games than read these words) I may soon live up to the title of this blog.

Yep, I may be laid off once again, and perhaps as early as this coming week.

You want signs? I’ll give you signs aplenty. Many closed down meetings among the All White Males Club, cryptic messages in an email about “budget cuts from on high,” and the real kicker…I overheard two of those White Males talk loudly about a meeting about the “future of” my department.

Now before you think I was being nosy, those comments were said loud enough for me to hear. If they wanted to keep it hush-hush, they should have kept their pie-holes shut.

When I asked my immediate boss if he knew anything about these meeting, he said he didn’t. More damning evidence that something is afoot and it’s not good. If it were something positive, he would have been involved.

It’s pretty obvious there are discussions about eliminating our department altogether, at the very least. Still I wonder, why our department? Why now?

Then the CEO sends an email Friday afternoon announcing the departure of one of our top executives (nice when you get another job and leave, never having to face the wreckage you’ve caused in other people’s lives). In it, he said there would more announcements next week about a restructuring in the company. Can’t wait.

Call me paranoid (and some have), but those are not good smoke signals. Cuts are coming and my gut feeling is it’s going to be bloody. My stomach is constantly in knots.

Now, I could be wrong. A friend said I was probably being “hyper-vigilant” because of my previous layoff, and she could be right. I could be misinterpreting all these signals. Perhaps nothing more that a rebranding of our department is in store.

It also doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll lose my job. At this company, they have a habit of shuffling people to other positions when their departments are shuttered. I may even get a promotion out of it!

Yeah, right, and I’m going to spend the rest of the summer lounging with George Clooney on the shores of Lake Como.

Even as I wrote those sentences, I know how foolish I sounded. I’m a goner; all that’s left is the “this has nothing to do with your work, it’s a business decision” speech, followed by “clean out your desk and leave.”

I have already brought home my office coffee cup.

And I’m not looking forward to it: The humiliation of cleaning out my desk while my former co-workers avert theirs eyes; the nastiness, the favoritism and backstabbing that goes into these decisions, the utter lack of control over my own professional fate. The long months of job hunting that await me; the daily rejection, the loneliness; and the big one: how will I survive financially this time?

When I was let go before, in 2009, at the height of the recession, I received sympathy. As a two-time laid-off worker, I’ll be seen as a freeloading loser who can’t hold down a job.

And I’m sure there will be people who will rejoice in my layoff, human nature being what it is. But the only person who has any right to gloat would be the woman whose plagiarism I reported and was subsequently fired. Anyone else would be just being nasty.

And really, in this workplace, I’ve been kind and helpful to all; there has never been a time I’ve refused to do what was asked of me. Lotta good that did me, huh?

And once again, my future is being decided by a bunch of middle-aged white guys sitting in a room, men who’d never allow their children to be treated as they are treating us. That sucks.

Even if they did “repurpose” me to another position, I know that is merely a long, slow road to the exit. Whenever they move someone to a “special projects” position, what they are really saying is, “Don’t let the door hit you on the fanny on the way out.” They shifted one guy to four different positions until they finally fired him. It’s really more merciful to be let go immediately.

Now you may be wondering (or not), why not just ask what’s going on? Well, I tried that at my previous workplace. Not only didn’t I find out anything, I was severely reprimanded.

And who would I ask? The higher ups are not going to tell me anything, even if there were anything to tell. HR? No way, they are just tools for the organization.

I don’t see how I can avoid a layoff this time. At my previous job, I could justifiably argue that my experience, seniority and knowledge made me a good candidate to keep. (And how’d that work out for me?) This time, there are plenty of people with more seniority, knowledge and experience they would keep over me.

Nevertheless, I don’t regret taking the job. I had been out of work for 16 months and needed to get back into the game. I’ve learned a whole new industry and new skills. Whether that will help me get another job is a question that has yet to be answered.

So I will go into work Monday, not knowing how much longer I will be employed there. As workers, if we are not joyful in our workday, at least we can be content that we will accomplish our tasks to the best of our abilities, and that our work is appreciated by our bosses.

Not anymore. Instead, we go to work and enter a “Game of Thrones” episode. Who will be beheaded next?

Reentry Job

Most recent economic reports indicate that companies are hiring more workers. Finally, some good news on the job front.

Wall Street did a happy dance over the news, which is bit surprising, considering how investors and analysts love it when companies ditch workers in droves. Perhaps corporations have realized that they cut too much of their workforce and that they need workers to get out their goods and services. Can’t do everything through technology.

Now, I’m not totally convinced that the employment market has completely recovered or that unemployed workers will soon find work. The economy may simply be sputtering in a one-step forward, two-steps back cha-cha-cha. However, for once I’m going to let go of my normal bitterness and cynicism and hail this as good news.

But it also raises an issue, one I have dealt with first-hand, and that is, what is like to go back to work after a long stint on unemployment.

It’s great to have that steady paycheck, but you’ll also returning to petty office politics and meetings that can make your eyes tear from boredom.

Here’s what I learned:

You will be exhausted at first. During my first month back on the job, I was utterly exhausted. No matter how early I went to bed, I was tired and had to drag myself to the office. I even ordered a cream for dark under-eye circles from the TV. Did it work? Nope.

Did it mean I didn’t like the job? That I was no longer capable of being employed? No. When you think about, it was completely normal. For many months, the six o’clock alarm never rang for me. I could wake up as early or late as I pleased (though I always managed to rouse myself by 8 a.m.).

When you return to work, you body has to get adjusted to a whole new schedule. And that takes time. For me it was about a month. So be patient with yourself.

Oh, your aching feet! After months of wearing comfy shoes, it's back to high heels and work footwear that make your feet ache. Well, get used to it.

From slob wear to office wear. No getting around it, you have to dress up for the office. No PJs or sweats. However, I've found that each office has it own unofficial dress code. My current workplace is less formal than my previous office. Jeans are allowed everyday, not just on casual Fridays. But if you wear jeans, wear dark-wash, trouser-style. Much more professional. Leave the baggy, light-wash Mom jeans for gardening and watching stupid chick-flicks. And it goes without saying, if you have to attend an event or have a formal meeting, wear something business-like. A black pants suit will always do.

Remember, you’re the new girl (or guy). Every office has its own procedures and personality. It may be completely different from your last workplace. You may even find that there were some things your previous office did better (the horror!).

But to come in and try to change the ways of your new workplace is probably not the best tactic. Remember, you’re the new girl or guy so it’s up to you to fit in with those who have been there for years and maybe decades. Best to keep quiet and assimilate with your new surroundings.

A word about office gossip. In a word, no. Office gossip is probably as old as mankind. I’m sure if you translated the ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs on cave walls, there would be something to the effect of: “That skank Cleo slept her way to the top” or “Who does he think he is? A pharaoh?”

It’s tough to avoid office gossip. Anytime humans are in close contact there are bound to be misunderstandings and petty tiffs. The best we can do is to avoid engaging in office gossip as much as possible. If you find yourself upset over a co-worker’s action, stay calm and don’t react immediately. Take a walk, or a deep breath. It may have been a silly misunderstanding not worth getting your knickers in a twist over. Sometimes a bit of humor can defuse a potentially ugly situation over something quite nonsensical.

I’ve found that office gossip is a like a boomerang: If you do it, it will always come back to bite you in the butt eventually. It can backfire on you. So don’t do it or keep it to a minimum.

Paranoia runs deeps. After you’ve been laid off, it’s only natural that you will feel it can happen again. Are you being paranoid? Partially. But I think it’s also because you’ve learned to spot some the signs a layoff is coming: a change in upper management, many closed-door meetings among the All White Males Club and other layoffs within the company.

During a recent conference call about the change in the company’s direction (i.e., layoffs), one person said he felt like there was a guillotine over his head. A bit harsh, but true: The fact is, any company can lay off any worker at any time, so there really isn’t much you can do about it. Worrying about it won’t change the situation.

All you can do is do your job to the best of your ability everyday until they tell you to pack up your desk and leave.

This is your second chance. In the long months during my unemployment, I thought long and hard about why I was let go. What did I do to deserve this? I do believe I was treated unfairly but in reality, I will never know what rationale my bosses used to terminate me.

Yet I also thought about what I did that may have facilitated my layoff. In all candor, I had to admit my behavior at times was less than sterling. I spoke out of turn too many times when I should have kept my mouth shut and minded my own business. I was hesitant to learn new technology. Those characteristics may have made it easier for my bosses to show me the door.

What specifics? Well, I used to complain about my former boss to a co-worker. When my former boss was let go, and that co-worker was promoted to her position, who do you think remembered what I said  and made sure I was laid off? She did, of course. And I can't blame her. She probably thought I would back-bite against her. I never did, but I could understand why she would think that way. I've learned to watch what I say so it won't come back to haunt me.

If you do hear some juicy gossip through the office grapevine, don't repeat it.

And if your boss or co-worker is driving you crazy, talk to a family friend or co-worker outside of work. That way, it won't get back to the person you were badmouthing, and maybe they can give you some objective advice on how to deal with the situation.

Going through a bad experience can be a good learning experience if you are willing to be honest with yourself. The only beneficial thing that can come from our past mistakes or hardships is the opportunity to learn, grown and become a better person for it. Don’t waste this opportunity. Let something good come from your misfortune; otherwise, it would have all been for naught.

So take advantage of this second chance. I did. Though I’ll never be a tech whiz, I have learned new skills. I’ve also cleaned up my act and it’s made my daily work life much better. Don’t get me wrong, the workload is stressful and sometimes my co-workers and bosses annoy me. But I don’t let it bother me and I don’t react to it in a negative manner. I’ve been helpful and courteous even when I believe these people should be bitch-slapped into submission.

Ironically, when you don’t take yourself or your job too seriously, it can actually make you a better worker.

The reply all function is not your friend. If there is only one thing you take from this blog let it be this: THE REPLY ALL FUNCTION IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.

I learned this the hard way at my previous job when I hit the reply all button to send off what I thought was a joke. Instead of laughter, I had people come to desk and scream at my face.

In retrospect, the comment wasn’t funny and it was easy to see why they took it the wrong way. I made a stupid, stupid mistake. So, please, before you hit the reply all button, or the reply button, for that matter, think before you do it. It may save you a lot of grief.

So there you have it…I hope it helps all those who have returned to work after being unemployed for way too long. Think of this job as your reentry job, the job that gets back into the workforce, the job that sets you farther and farther away from the stench of unemployment and in the good graces of HR drones. You don’t have to stay there forever, if you don’t choose to.

The best advice I can give to any worker is to mind your own business, never talk about politics or religion in the workplace and don't act like a jerk. Follow those rules and you should be OK.

Yes, you are probably making less than what you did at your previous job. But I have to agree with Suze Orman on this: Take the job, even at less pay. I did. A lot of good things can happen with a steady paycheck: employer-sponsored health-care, a 401(k) plan and the opportunity to learn new skills and improve your office behavior. And that can only help you get your next job.