Euphemisms

Ever notice how many ways there are of saying of laid off?

In my instance, I was “selected for the program.” No lie. That’s what it said when I was sent a list of others who were also “selected for the program.”

Obviously, I had no choice in being admitted to this rather sinister program. I was never asked to submit an essay, run an obstacle course or take a test. Nope. A group of people sat in a room and discussed my financial and professional future without me ever knowing about it. How come accused murderers get to defend themselves, but hard-working employees never get a chance to speak on their behalf when it comes time to be laid off? Or should I say, “selected for the program”?

My sister’s company refers to layoffs as RIFs, or reduction in force. However, because hers is a public company, the firm would announce it was doing RIFs by specific time. The company also gave employees the option of early retirement.

Knowing this, my sister opted for early retirement (she had more than 30 years in the company so her pension was fully vested). She was able to take control of the situation, and plan for her future by enrolling in culinary school. She even got a retirement party, which was so much nicer than the “pack up your desk and leave” farewell I got.

And since her position was being eliminated anyway, she was also able to collect unemployment. She left on her own terms, which is not something many laid-off workers have the option of doing since they are given so little warning.

Other phrases keep popping up in regards to layoffs. When I covered school boards years ago, school officials would talk about staff attribution, meaning a teacher would retire and that job would go unfilled. When I told my editor about this, he would roll his eyes and say, of course, they are cutting jobs.

Terminated is another popular euphemism. Terminated? Really? I thought I was being laid off, not shot through the skull with a revolver. That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? Sometimes blander is better.

At the core, all of these euphemisms are simply ways for management to distance itself from the inhumanity of having to let people go. Sorry, we know exactly what is being done to us, and we don’t like it. And whose fault is it, really, that a company is doing so poorly that it must lay off workers?

I also love when they talk about eliminating positions, as if there were no human beings who manned those positions, sometimes for many years. “Positions” is a neutral, non-personal term. Positions are being eliminated, not people. Now, see, that’s not so bad.

If a company can somehow trick itself into believing it is only eliminating positions, not actual human beings, it can make itself feel better about what is a lousy situation for the people who held those positions.

It also irks me when management doesn’t specify how many positions are being eliminated. A company will announce that it had to eliminate “around” or “approximately” so many positions. Hey, it’s not advanced calculus. These companies know exactly how many workers they are laying off.

But I guess it’s better than saying the truth, which is “You’re being laid off because the company can’t make money due to a bad recession (and stupid management decisions) and you have to take the fall while your supervisor /manager and his or her hand-picked butt-kissers stay on. Now pack up your desk and leave.”

At that point, you are perfectly within your rights to tell them exactly what they can do with their positions.

When Every Day is Saturday

I’m writing this on Saturday. Or is it Tuesday? Maybe it’s Thursday? Friday?

It’s hard to tell these days what day it is. In my current jobless state, no longer tied to the workweek/weekend schedule, each day blends into the one before and after it, broken only by the change from daylight to nighttime.

So I find myself at loss of what to do with my days, hours, minutes, unmoored as I am from a lifetime of work, then weekend, then work again on Monday.

Before I was laid off, a Saturday afternoon with nothing to do was a welcome respite from a hectic, sometimes overwhelming workweek. Now, it seems nearly every day is Saturday.

Oh, there have been times when I have had things to do. Soon after I was laid off, I underwent three months of twice weekly physical therapy. That gave some structure to my week…and got me out of the house regularly. But that ended in early June.

I’ve also been doing some freelance writing, but that is on an article-by-article basis, nothing permanent or regular (although I am grateful for the opportunity to do writing and the extra money).

In the absence of a full-time job, a new routine has emerged. I get up on the morning, take a walk or jog, eat breakfast, search the Internet for jobs (without much luck), have lunch, watch my favorite soaps (The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful and sometimes As the World Turns). Then it’s off to do errands and an afternoon stroll along the walkway that runs along the Hudson River in my town. Not very exciting, I admit.

I’ve kept some of my previous routines, such as food shopping on Fridays (albeit earlier in the day) and shopping at the malls on Saturdays (although I don’t buy much of anything anymore).

It’s funny how we complain about our jobs. Oh, if we could only win the lottery and quit our jobs! We’d be free of the shackles of the 9-to-5 routine, no longer would we have to run to the bus or train, or fight the morning and afternoon traffic.

Yet, to my surprise, I’ve found I miss working. I’ve been working since I was in junior high, babysitting to get spending money. I worked through high school and college and it’s been full time ever since. Not having a job is a major adjustment.

Fact is, not only do we require the financial security of a job, we also need the sense of accomplishment, purpose, and yes, the steady routine a job brings. Much as we may hate to admit it, we like to go to a workplace and do something that is meaningful to us.

We also need human contact. You may not like all of your colleagues, but there are always a few that you can talk to and share thoughts and feelings with.

Much has been written about how isolating unemployment can be and I can attest that that is certainly true. I’m beginning to understand how people can get addicted to the virtual friendships of Facebook!

Since I’m unmarried and have no children, this is probably doubly true of me. I do get lonely and bored at times.

My sisters live out of state and most of my friends are employed. Other friends and relatives have their own busy lives to content with. We try to get together occasionally, but it’s hard to find a time that is convenient for both of us. Well, convenient for them anyway, my days are pretty much open.

And have you noticed the busier you are, the more you get done? I think it’s because when you know you have only a small window in which to accomplish certain tasks, you, as the ad says, JUST DO IT! You are less likely to procrastinate. With more time on your hands, it’s easy to get lulled into “I can do it tomorrow” way of thinking. Not good.

And tomorrow is Sunday, isn’t it?

While I was Away...

I took a vacation.

Yeah, yeah, I know…unemployed people shouldn’t take vacations. We should just stay at our computers all day long and look for a job. That’s the same kind of thinking that says jobless people are just lazy, deserve no fun in life and should walk around with a bright red U on their chests.

But I took a vacation anyway. Visited Seattle with my sister and niece for six days.

I used my frequent flyer miles to pay for the airfare. If I had to pay out of pocket for the plane, I would not have gone. One good thing about all the business trips I took at my previous employer is that it gave me enough miles to take a free trip. Almost makes up for the horrid way they treated me. Almost.

Seattle is a great city, and one of three cities in the U.S. I want to visit (up next are Boston and Chicago). Pike’s Market, it’s most well-known destination, is amazing, but since July and August is the height of the city’s tourist season, it was very crowded. And you can take it with you: my sister had a 10-pound salmon shipped back to her home in Pennsylvania from one of the fish stands in the market.

We also went to the Space Needle; the Seattle Art Museum (which had an exhibit on native son Kurt Cobain); saw the original Starbucks; took a ferry ride around the harbor and to the very quaint Bainbridge Island; went on a tour of underground Seattle in Pioneer Square; and even watched a baseball game at Safeco Field (the Mariners vs. the Red Sox).

The weather was perfect; none of the rain Seattle is famous for. Getting around the city on public transportation is either free or at a very low cost. So I would definitely recommend a trip to the 206 area code.

Deciding to go was not an easy decision, what with my current financial situation. But who knows when I will be able to go on another vacation? I only had to pay for a part of the hotel room, food and entrance to the attractions. So it wasn’t wildly expensive.

It wasn't like there was much for me to do back in New Jersey. Nothing but sending out countless résumés that get swallowed up in cyberspace; waiting for calls for interviews that never come; and, my favorite, getting emails that start with “While you were an attractive candidate...” Nothing good comes after that phrase, does it?

There were times when I almost was able to forget my jobless status. Almost. Living in the now has never been easy for me. The trip didn't make me feel any better about my situation, but I didn't feel any worse. Overall I had a good time, although it would have been better if I had a job to come home to.

At least I got OUTSIDE, which tanned my face and got rid of my Facebook/Internet job search pallor.

Before I left, I learned that I flunked that test for the reporter job (see “Jumping Through Hoops). I was disappointed and frankly, embarrassed that I did poorly. It’s inexcusable, really, that I failed. I tried to find out from the HR lady what part of the test I did badly on, but all she would say was that the test was “very competitive.” Most likely, I didn’t do well on the reading comprehension part. Those standardized tests always bedevil me.

Considering the company advertised again for the reporter position, I have a feeling I wasn’t the only one who crapped out on the test.

But while I was in Seattle, I did get some good news. The Senate approved extended unemployment benefits. So I’ll be getting weekly payments for 20 more weeks, until November. (And no, I'm not planning any more vacations!)

Hopefully, between now and then, all the summer interns will have gone back to college and media companies will realize they will have to pay real journalists to do the work. For real money! Maybe then someone will hire me.

If not…well, perhaps the Senate will again pass extended unemployment benefits. Or not. Who knows what will happen?

But for now I won’t have to dip into my savings or get a job at my local Target or grocery store as a cashier.

Jumping Through Hoops

I had an interesting Saturday morning. I took a writing test for a job as a reporter at website located in New York City.

The test consisted of a reading comprehension portion, as well as a headline and lead paragraph writing part. Then, we had to compose a 500- to 1,000-word article from information given to us. It took about three hours.

The reading comprehension part was tough. It was one of those tests where you read a paragraph and then are asked to pick a response about what was written. I hate to admit it, as much as I like to read, I’m not good at those kinds of tests. I never know if I’ve picked the right answer. They all seem correct. It always seems like a series of trick questions to me.

I felt much more comfortable with the writing part. It’s what I’ve been doing for my entire career.

But as TV pitchmen say, But wait, there’s more!

If one does well on the three-part test, then there is another test in which the prospective reporter will participate a simulated interview to assess his or her interviewing skills. If that hurdle is passed, THEN we will be called in for one or possibly two interviews.

Now, since my dance card is pretty much free these days, I had no problem taking the test on a Saturday morning.

And I can certainly understand why a publisher would want to see an applicant’s writing and reporting style. Every place I’ve interviewed requires that you take a writing and/or editing test. However, that is usually done at the same time as the first interview, not before you are even invited in for a talk.

This seems a bit excessive to me. I half expected the HR person to ask us to jump through a flaming hoop after we completed the test.

What does a person have to do to get a job these days? My sister had to go through two interviews just to get a part-time job in grocery store. Multiple interview stages…background checks…three-hour writing tests, all are becoming ever more common in a time of near 10% unemployment.

While I can understand an employer’s wish to get the best hire through rigorous review, for us unemployed people this is just another frustration and barrier we confront. The only thing we want to hear is, “You’re hired,” and as soon as possible…you know, before our unemployment benefits or savings run out.

Again, I think it’s just another way employers are winnowing down a large number of applicants. Heck, just by the fact that they asked applicants to show up for the test on a Saturday morning probably discouraged a fair number of people. If we showed up, we must be serious about wanting the job, right?

About 12 to 15 of us showed up at 10:30 a.m. I can’t be sure if all were currently unemployed, like me. Perhaps some wanted to switch jobs. But as I looked around the table, I’m pretty confident a good number were unemployed. Most had the blank stares and glum expressions of those who have probably been out of work for far too long and sent out far too many resumes with little or no response.

The HR lady, I think, tried to be cheerful, but stopped when she realized it wasn’t going to work on us. I can recall only one other person actually smiling as we waited to take the test. We wanted to take the test and be done with it.

It’s hard to say how I did on the test. The reading comprehension portion was multiple choice, so I can only hope I picked the right answers.

How I did on the writing portion is dependent on whoever reads it, and that makes it an inherently more subjective evaluation.

I’m not sorry I went, however. Brushing up on my test-taking skills is a worthy effort. At the very least, I’ll be better prepared for the next writing test.

Will I get the job? Who knows? There are about six to eight openings (hard to believe, but the company is in an expansion mode), so my chances are better than for other job openings, when there could be 30 applicants for one open position.

That is, if I passed that tricky reading comprehension part.

But hey, at least the company didn’t immediately reject me because I’m currently unemployed.

No Unemployed Need Apply

As if being laid off in the worse recession since the Great Depression wasn’t bad enough, here’s some more disheartening news for the jobless.

According to this article from CNN Money, some employers are deliberately ignoring the applications of out-of-work applicants, choosing instead to only hire people who are currently employed.

Here’s the link: http://money.cnn.com/2010/06/16/news/economy/unemployed_need_not_apply/index.htm. Read it and weep.

This is occurring at the same time the Senate is still debating whether to extend unemployment benefits for people who have exhausted their initial claims (like me). And this is occurring at the same time some stupid politicians say that jobless people don’t want to work, and throwing them off unemployment will force them to get a job. But how can unemployed people get a job if employers are summarily deep-sixing their applications? Think about it, and you can see the bind we jobless people are in.

But let’s get back to the article. To me, this is the epitome of lazy management. HR departments simply want to cut down on their workload and would rather read only 10 resumes instead of 20. Never mind that the unemployed applicants may have exactly the qualifications, skills and experience a company is looking for. Oh, but how would they know, if those applications are thrown immediately into the trash?

And isn’t it the job of an HR department to review ALL applications? We are truly sorry that our misfortune is making more work for those poor, overburdened human resource professionals.

And let’s dissect the theory that unemployed people were let go because of performance-related issues. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 14.6 million were unemployed as of June. So they were all crappy workers? That’s doesn’t say much about our educational system, does it?

It’s more likely that the jobless were simply caught in a numbers crunch when a company decided to downsize or go out of business altogether. They were the victims of bad luck, not bad performance.

Companies lay off poor-performers during good economic times and bad. They don’t wait for a recession to get rid of deadwood.

And most companies have procedures in place whereby a poor-performing employee can better his or her work product and habits. Management gives a detailed list of what needs to be improved and the employee is given a reasonable timeframe in which to respond.

In such situations, employees have control over their fate: They can either straighten up or find another job.

A laid-off employee is not given the same chance. Oh, there may be rumors of staff cutbacks, but no one can be sure when and whether he or she will be laid off.

In fact, decisions about layoffs are usually made behind closed doors by management and supervisors. Us poor, cubicle-dwelling serfs have no say in the matter.

There is no warning, until the day you are told to pack up your desk and leave.

And let’s not ignore the role office politics plays in company layoffs. Managers, like parents, pick favorites. In other words, managers will choose to keep their handpicked lapdogs, even at the expense of other well-performing employees who simply had the audacity to speak up to their supervisor.

Never listen to a manager who says he or she wants a collaborative work environment. They want total control and will brook no dissent. Even making suggestions is sometimes enough to land you in a supervisor’s doghouse…or on the unemployment rolls.

This practice harkens back to the days of the 1850s when employment ads said, “No Irish Need Apply.”

Excluding unemployed people is just as discriminatory. Seems like we haven’t progressed very far from then, have we?

We’re told to get jobs, instead of living off unemployment, but then no one wants to hire us. It’s insane. I’m surprised more hasn’t been written about this odious practice.

Mind the Gap

COBRA—Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act—is aptly named. There is a bite to this program.

COBRA’s intentions are good: It permits individuals and families to continue getting health insurance for 18 months after they have been laid off. The Feds, in a rare show of compassion, have provided a 65% subsidy on the monthly COBRA payment. This subsidy truly makes the monthly payment affordable. I can attest to that.

Of course, this subsidy, like the employment benefit extension, is in doubt for the newly laid off. See http://www.kaiserhealthnews.org/Stories/2010/July/02/cobra-medicaid-medicare-congress.aspx

Unfortunately, one of the dirty little secrets HR people never tell you about COBRA as they are ushering you out of the door is that there is a definite gap in coverage.

Between the time you sign up for COBRA and when the COBRA administrator cashes your first check, there could be a gap of some three weeks. During that time, you are technically uninsured. Just try going to a doctor or hospital and telling them, “Well, I applied for COBRA and sent the check.” To them, you have no health insurance, and must pay in full upfront. It’s the sad state of our healthcare system that without health insurance, no medical facility or provider will treat you.

I found this out the hard way. In my entire life, I have never had to go to an emergency room. That is, until the two times I was between coverage periods due to a switchover to COBRA during the past six months. The first time was when my doctor wanted emergency tests and the other was when I fell and hit my nose so badly I thought I broke it. (Never hit the pavement with your face. The pavement always wins.)

When I told the benefits coordinator at my former employer about this, he said that such gaps are “unavoidable.”

If only illness and accidents were unavoidable. Fact is, our bodies don’t know there is a gap between coverage periods. While the COBRA provider takes its sweet time cashing your check, you CAN get sick and have accidents.

So what can you do when you need medical care during these “gap” periods?

Well, here are some suggestions:

Pay up or Suck it up. Only you know your tolerance for pain and discomfort. If you can handle it, by all means, wait until the coverage is official before seeking treatment. However, in many instances, that is simply not feasible.

Here’s what you can do if what is needed is a visit to a doctor’s office or ER:

You can pay the doctor upfront and wait to get reimbursed. Admittedly, this is a risky and daunting option for those of us who are unemployed. But it may be the only way to get needed treatment. I charged some medical supplies during a “gap” period in April and I’m still waiting to get reimbursed. So be aware that the reimbursement may take a while.

When I finally went to the ER for my nose the clerk allowed me to pay only the copay for an ER visit ($150) and told me to simply mail the bill back to the hospital with my insurance information when my coverage became official. Not every facility may be so accommodating.

If you've been going to the same doctor for a long time and are current with your payments, he or she may let you pay over time. My dentist has been kind enough to allow me to pay for some dental work a little bit each month.

The Public Option: But what if it’s a true, life-threatening emergency, something that requires immediate treatment? Find the nearest public hospital.

When I needed those emergency tests, my doctor sent me to the ER of a nearby public hospital. I was admitted for an overnight stay. All turned out fine, and the bill was eventually paid by the insurer.

And don’t be scared off by the term public hospital. TV shows sometimes portray public hospitals in the worst possible light. I found the opposite to be true. The care and the facility were fine. Remember, many big-city public hospitals are teaching facilities and the best medical centers are usually teaching hospitals. And if it’s not an emergency, there are also public clinics.

The only drawback I found was that you will have to wait an inordinate amount of time to get treated or seen by a doctor. After I was discharged, I had to go back to get the results of my test. It was four hours before I saw the doctor. Thankfully, the tests turned out negative, but waiting and wondering for four hours was torture!

So if you get hit by a bus, and bystanders want to help you as you lay on the ground, but you know you are in that gap period, just gasp and say, “Oh, just leave me here. I’m in an unavoidable gap period between my health coverage from former employer and COBRA. Cough…Gurgle…Phew….”

That may be the easiest option of all.

Six Months...And Counting

Well, it’s official. I have joined the ranks of the long-term unemployed—meaning, laid off and out of work for at least six months. It’s a place I never thought I would be, but through no fault of my own, I find myself in it.

I’m an out-of-work journalist—a redundant phrase if there ever was one. I’ve been reporting, writing and editing for more than 25 years. That was, until my previous employer unceremoniously kicked me to the curb after more than 16 years with the company. Ouch!

For the past six months, I’ve been sending an average of two résumés each day. What do I have to show for it? Exactly two interviews. Just two. I didn’t get one of the jobs and I’m still waiting to hear on the other. Oh, and I had one telephone interview, but have yet to be called in for a formal interview.

Ever since I was in grade school, I knew I wanted to be a writer. It was what I did best (as opposed to math, science and of course, gym). It’s how I best express myself. Everyone needs a creative outlet, a way to express his or her inner self to the world. Some people draw or take pictures; others give great speeches or act, some sing or even cook up grand meals. I write. Besides, I simply like to write. Nothing makes me feel more contented than to sit down before a blank page and create something with words.

So these past months with no outlet for my writing skill have been torturous for me. And since blogging is the new journalism, I will write a blog.

But this blog is not intended to be just about me. Well, okay, it will be a lot about me, that’s what a personal blog is all about: the person writing it. Of course, we wouldn’t be pouring out our self-absorbed ramblings if somebody, anybody, out there would give us a REAL job.

Yet I’m well aware I am not the only person in this situation. I hope by writing about my feelings, frustrations and struggles, others will see that they are not alone. We can navigate this twisted road together.

So as we muddle through the minefield that is unemployment in the US in 2010, I’ll try to give advice, information and even find some humor in what is a very bleak and perplexing situation.

In fact, when I was first laid off in December 2009, I thought this blog would be about the lighter side of unemployment, with such topics as: Buy stretchy clothes because you will gain weight! Shop during the day with all the old people in the stores! Oh, I still may write about the absurd aspects of life on the dole. But not right now. I’m not in the mood.

You see, as the weeks turned into months, as the heaps of snow from January and February turned into the record-shattering heat wave of July, with nary a nibble from all the résumés I sent out, the situation became increasingly ominous.

And bleaker. I recently found out that my 26 weeks of initial unemployment checks have ended. Since I started my claim after Nov. 23, I am not eligible for extended benefits unless the Senate comes back from its July 4^th vacation and passes legislation permitting extended benefits. Even then, as I was rather sneeringly told by a woman at the labor department from New York State, I may not be eligible for extended benefits because of when I initially filed. (Oh, to be a state worker with a strong union!)

So in other words, there are people out there who have and can collect for up 99 weeks, but I cannot simply because of when I was laid off! I don’t begrudge anyone his or her benefits, but that doesn’t seem fair.

My sister in Pennsylvania, who was laid off from her job with the phone company after more than 30 years in November, is in the same predicament. But since she lives in Pennsylvania, she is in line for extended benefits when the Senate passes the bill. I may not be so lucky.

The Senate bill may include people like me, but there is no guarantee. I was also told to continue to claim weekly benefits just in case the bill enables me and others like me to get another measly 20 weeks of unemployment benefits. I’ll do it, but it sounds like a futile endeavor.

What the senators who are blocking this bill don’t seem to understand is that an extra 20 weeks can mean the difference between survival or total financial ruin for more than a million U.S. citizens.

By not passing the extension bill, all the senators are doing is passing the buck—quite literally—to another social safety net. Without extended benefits, more food stamps will be issued, and more families will apply for emergency funds. More homes will go into foreclosure and who is going to buy those homes? People will be evicted from homes and apartments and where will they live?

Less goods and services will be bought, and for a country dependent on its service economy, that will be devastating.

This country once tried to live with a society with no social safety net. We ended up with bread lines and Hoovervilles. It was called the Great Depression.

Without an income, even one as paltry as unemployment payments, I’ll have to dip into my savings, which makes me laugh a bit. How many times do we read that Americans don’t save enough? That we don’t tuck enough funds away for our retirement? Well, this recession is going to wipe out the retirement savings of millions of Americans. Not only will we deplete our savings and retirement funds to buy food and pay our rent, without jobs, we cannot contribute to our 401K plans. At some point in the future, the country will have to foot the bill for this through higher social security taxes.

And I’m one of the lucky ones with some savings to draw upon during this fallow period. Many individuals and families don’t have any cushion.

And let’s not forget the strain this will put on our already shaky healthcare system. No job = no health insurance, and that means when people get sick they will either neglect to go to the doctor. Patients who delay treatment usually end up needing more intensive and expensive care.

Yes, there is COBRA (which I will write more about later). Even with a subsidy (and who can be sure Congress won’t cut that off), COBRA doesn’t come cheap. And for many families the price may still be too steep.

Even on COBRA, most insurers require copays. In many households, families may have to choose between paying a copay that could be as high as $50, or putting food on the table. A tough choice.

There have also been rumblings that the long-term unemployed simply don’t want to work and by cutting off their benefits they would be forced to take jobs. Or extended benefits creates a higher unemployment rate. Read the newspaper or listen to your evening news and you will hear stories of unemployed people being turned down for jobs at McDonalds or the local mall. Until the private sector starts hiring, there are no jobs to be had in any field. Hey, we all can’t be LeBron James.

Unemployment people get discouraged and even depressed, but like me, they don’t give up. We want to work.