Corporate Feudalism

Since the GOP seems ready to nominate the ultimate corporate overlord, Mitt “I like to fire people” Romney, as its presidential candidate, it’s time to discuss Corporate Feudalism.

What is Corporate Feudalism? It’s the concept (invented by me, of course. I have a lot of time on my hands) that companies in the U.S. are built not innovation or inventing goods and services that can help society in some way, but on the perpetuation of their own dominance and oversized paychecks. It’s all about keeping themselves and their handpicked cronies in power so they can rake in mega salaries and big fat bonus checks every year. Just like Feudal Lords of yesteryear.

Even after taxpayers, their serfs, had to bail them out from their own stupidity, Wall Street hucksters shamelessly pocketed six-figure bonuses. This after many had thrown workers out on the street to keep their own jobs so they could continue their own lavish lifestyles. Not one has been held to account for their criminal actions. That’s despicable.

Oh, Republicans say this class warfare, that we’re jealous of their wealth. Not so.

All of us know rich people. We work with them, are friends with them and they are members of our families. Good for them if they have beaucoup bucks. I always say, if you are going to be jealous of what another person makes, you will be a very unhappy person.

No, we irritates us is the power their money gives them. The power to change laws in their favor, the power to hire us and then dump us when we become “surplus.” (If we were surplus, why did you hire us in the first place?)

Name one U.S. company that consistently comes up with innovative products? Apple is the only one I can think of. (Although I wish they innovate a little slower. I just bought an iPhone 4 and now the company wants to come out with an iPhone5.) Of course, Apple has managed to steer away from paying most of its U.S. taxes.

I saw this at work at my former workplace. They cut us to reduce expenses, yet are they profitable? From what I can see they haven’t come up with anything new or innovative. It’s just the same old, same old from the same drunken morons who have always run that place and a bunch of new hires getting overworked for a pittance.

And I don't buy the theory that just because someone ran a successful business they can run the country. Sure, in business, you don't want to run a deficit. With a country, sometimes you have to in order to provide essential services to its citizens. What's Romney going to do when he sees how much Social Security is costing the country? Fire everyone over age 65?

For most American corporations, it’s about keeping upper management in power and living in luxury while the rest of us can barely afford to pay rent and keep our families fed and housed. There is no balance. The entire system is tilted in their favor. It's never good for any civil society to have so much power rest with one, relatively small group.

Corporations whine about too much regulation, but with so many politicians of both parties beholden to Wall Street dollars, it’s unlikely they will get more regulation.

And it’s not as if regulation has stopped them from raking in record profits while discarding workers in record numbers. What are they worried about?

Look, I understand companies have to make profits and to make money you have to take risks. I get that. But when they take risks that fail, they cannot expect taxpayers—the same people they jettison when it suits them—to pay for their mistakes.

The most surprising aspect of the JPMorgan debacle was not that those boobs actually managed to lose $2 billion in a scheme even they couldn’t comprehend—it was that upper management actually acknowledged their fault (albeit not right away) and that some high-ranking executives actually took responsibility and resigned. (One of them was a woman from New Jersey. Perhaps now she can go on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. They need someone to smack down Teresa.)

We all must pay taxes if we want a country with a top-notch military, good schools and solid infrastructure. But all corporations want to do is avoid paying taxes. Have we become Tax Dodge Nation? It’s not like they are using the money they would have paid in taxes to fund some great new product that helps people live better lives or puts more people to work. No, instead the money is going for obscene salaries and bonuses.

Well, enough of my rant about Corporate Feudalism. Let me check my wallet to see if I have enough money to buy lunch at McDonalds.